I got nuttin’

Being a world famous has its perks. After all who wouldn’t like to avoid all human contact to write and not get paid for it?  Sounds fun, right? But sometimes after eight and half years and 2,076 posts even my fertile imagination (I watch a lot of porn) comes up empty.

I followed my usual morning routine (woke up, brushed my teeth, went to the window and flashed my morning wood to the neighbors) and I still cannot think of a topic for today’s post. And so I open up the pages of Manhattan Infidel to my readers. Perhaps they have some suggestions as to topics?

Note:  Since no none actually reads my blog so all suggestions are made up and are from imaginary people.

C.H.E of alligator infested Florida writes:

I enjoy your blog immensely. I was wondering if you could perhaps give us your take on the medieval controversies between the Franciscans and the Dominicans over the Immaculate Conception?

No.  Did you get my photos?

C.H.E of alligator infested Florida also writes:

P.S. Please don’t send me any more pictures of your penis.

I don’t see what the problem is. In many cultures sending a picture of one’s penis is considered an honor. Besides the photos were very artistic. Lots of profile shots. What can I say?  C.H.E. is a penis hater.

Pete Best of Liverpool England writes:

Please don’t write about me any more in your blog. I’m serious. It’s not my fault the Beatles fired me. They were just jealous. I’m a better drummer than Ringo!

I’m just breaking your balls a little bit. That’s all. Now go home and get your f*ckng shinebox.

Pete Best of Liverpool England also writes:

Motherf*cker! You piece of shit!  Oh, and did you get my resume?

Yes I did. I used it to wipe my ass.

Vladimir Putin from the Kremlin writes:

I enjoy our blog. It is the only news outlet in America that tells the truth. I have one suggestion. Well two actually. One. Keep up the Russian collusion stories. They are really amusing. Two. Stop sending me photos of your penis.

I can’t make any promises about the Russian collusion narrative. It seems to have run its course. As far as the photos of my penis I’m sorry. They were supposed to go to C.H.E. of alligator-infested Florida.

Vladimir Putin from the Kremlin also writes:

You too? I thought I was the only one sending her photos of my penis. Though no profile shots as of yet.

Sheila from a peace and love commune writes:

How can people be so heartless
How can people be so cruel
Easy to be hard
Easy to be cold

How can people have no feelings
How can they ignore their friends
Easy to be proud
Easy to say no

And especially people
Who care about strangers
Who care about evil
And social injustice
Do you only
Care about the bleeding crowd?
How about a needing friend?
I need a friend

Take a bath, hippie! And did you enjoy the photos of my penis?

Well that’s about all I have for today. I promise to be back tomorrow with original content. Thank you for all your suggestions.

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