Celebrities Stand Up For Us While Keeping Their Class Distinction: The Proprieties at All Times!

Sally Field is one of the many celebrities who stand with us!

Sally Field is one of the many celebrities who stand with us!

A galaxy of high-profile Hollywood elite have put out a new video demanding that Congress stand up to Donald Trump and reminding us that they will always have our backs.

As a service to my millions hundreds of thousands thousands hundreds tens both of my readers I now present the text of the video in its entirety.

Jeffrey Wright

This man will stand up for us

This man will stand up for us

Dear members of congress

Sally Field 

Sally Field will stand up for us

Sally Field will stand up for us

Dear members of congress

Mariah Carey 

My monitor went out!

My monitor went out!

Dear members of  – wait my monitor just went out.

Rosie Perez 

Look at my boobs!

Look at my boobs!

I’m mad. And not just because i’m a Hispanic woman whose looks are rapidly fading

Keegan-Michael Key 

Yes, I'm famous.

Yes, I’m famous.

Flabbergasted. And not just because I’m actually considered a celebrity.

Steve Buscemi 

It's all about keeping the good will of the little folk

It’s all about keeping the good will of the little folk

I’m worried for everyone. But especially myself. My agent said I should do this video. It won’t cost me any goodwill with the public he said.

Chubby unknown lesbian who may be Drew Carey 

I am not Drew Carey and stop telling who good I am on The Price is Right!

I am not Drew Carey and stop telling me how good I am on The Price is Right!

The majority of Americans, no matter who they voted for as long as it was Hillary Clinton, did not vote for racism, sexism or xenophobia. What? What’s everyone looking at?  I’m no Keegan-Michael Key but I’m famous!

Keegan-Michael Key (again) 

I want Drew Carey out of this video!

I want Drew Carey out of this video!

And yet Donald Trump won. And since he won people of color have been attacked in his name. Granted most of them were made up by people of color desperate for attention. But that’s none of my business. And how did Drew Carey get in this video? Stupid fat white guy. I want to attack him!

Rosie Perez (again) 

Oppression is wrong. Look at my boobs!

Oppression is wrong. Look at my boobs!

You represent us in congress. Even though I didn’t vote. I was getting my breasts enlarged. Hey, I have to do that to get work in this sexist, racist, homophobic, xenophobic country!

Janet Mock 

I am famous! More famous than that lesbian Drew Carey!

I am famous! More famous than that lesbian Drew Carey!

You are our last line of defense. Other than maybe buying a gun and defending myself. But I won’t do that. Guns are evil. Yes, I’m famous. I am. I’m more famous than Drew Carey. What’s he doing in this video about oppression?

Jeffrey Wright (again) 

Listen to me! I'm black!

Listen to me! I’m black!

Here’s what we demand!

Mariah Carey (again) 

I can't work under these conditions

I can’t work under these conditions

Hey guys, my monitor is still out. Was I supposed to memorize this?

Bishop Gene Robinson of the Episcopalian church 

I cry a lot since my husband divorced me.

I cry a lot since my husband divorced me.

To the the extent that Trump pursues policies of oppression we demand that you vigorously oppose him. Speaking of policies of oppression do you know how much alimony I had to pay my husband when we divorced?

Mariah Carey (again) 

Can I lipsync this?

Can I lipsync this?

Guys. My monitor. It’s still down. I don’t know what to say. I didn’t memorize the script. Well, I’ll just wander aimlessly around until the next celebrity comes on.

Chubby unknown lesbian who may be Drew Carey (again) 

pay me and I might shut up

pay me and I might shut up

We won’t remain silent.

Sally Field (again) 

I'm a good person who feels good about myself. that's why i can fly.

I’m a good person who feels good about myself. that’s why i can fly.

We expect you to have our backs. And we will have yours. Even though we don’t travel in the same social circle. Usually I’m flying.

Bishop Gene Robinson of the Episcopal Church (again) 

I miss my ex -husband

I miss my ex -husband

We expect you to use your congressional powers to obstruct Trump.  But I don’t want to talk about that. I still miss my ex-husband. He took everything in the divorce settlement.

Steve Buscemi (again) 

It's all about keeping the good will of the masses

It’s all about keeping the good will of the masses

Signed, the majority of the American people. Hey, doing this video won’t ruin my career will it?

Mariah Carey (again) 

I have no idea why I'm here.

I have no idea why I’m here.

Wait. The monitor.  I think I remember what I’m supposed to say. Um. No I don’t. Boy this is awkward. I’ll just shake my middle-aged ass and no one will notice I have not memorized the script.

Wow. Thank you Hollywood. I have learned my lesson. I will never go against the will of Hollywood again.

For those of you who want to see your elite, Hollywood masters in action, the video is embedded below.  Good luck.

(159)

0 Comments

Leave a Reply

Using Gravatars in the comments - get your own and be recognized!

XHTML: These are some of the tags you can use: <a href=""> <b> <blockquote> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>