Thirty nine people were killed in an attack on revelers at a night club in Istanbul Turkey. Turkey’s Prime Minister Binali Yildirim announced that the attacker was dressed as Santa Claus.
“This is how the infidel operates” said Yildirim.
We Muslims were peacefully celebrating the new year and the infidel Santa Claus takes advantage of this to kill us. Who else but an infidel would do this? Certainly not a follower of the prophet!
Indeed throughout the world the consensus is that the attack was carried out by a white male, probably from the mid-west of the United States and a follower of the “Tea bagger” party and Donald Trump.
James Comey, director fo the FBI, immediately dispatched agents to Istanbul to help with the investigation.
“I want to assure our Muslim comrades in Turkey that we will do everything in our power to catch the guilty tea bagger” Comey told reporters.
We in America are just as disgusted by the tea baggers as you in Istanbul are. We have been dealing with these tea bagger scum for almost a decade and they are a vile race of people. They are natural-born killers. Cold blooded and blood thirsty. My sympathies to the people of Turkey for experiencing the terror from the tea baggers that we know all to well.
In Hawaii where he was vacationing, President Obama issued an executive order repealing the 2nd amendment and ordering all tea baggers arrested.
This unspeakable act by the tea baggers is all the proof we need that Hillary Clinton should be president. Donald Trump is a morally reprehensible person and not fit to be President. That is why I am also ordering his arrest and nullifying the results of the last presidential election. This threat to our way of life, this threat to the world must be stopped. I am thankful for our Muslim allies who will be joining us in the hunt to track down the tea baggers.
In New York, President-elect Trump denied any involvement in the nightclub massacre.
Is everyone an idiot? This is obviously the work of Isis. They are the enemy. Militant, radical Islam. That is why when I become president I will take steps to make our country safer.
Outside Trump Tower in midtown Manhattan protesters carried signs accusing Trump of the nightclub massacre.
“Trump has blood on his hands” said one protester.
Racist people voted for him and now we have proof of Trump’s violent racism. He is killing Muslims and he’s not even president yet! Imagine the terror he will inflict on the world once he’s in office!
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Isis has taken responsibility for the New Year’s Eve massacre in Istanbul.
“Come on! It was us! It was really us!” said their official communique.
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