Popular children’s personality Twilight Sparkle, one of the popular My Little Pony’s has been diagnosed with Grave’s Disease (not to be confused with Peter Graves’ Disease.)
“Upon consultation with my doctor I have decided to take a leave of absence” said Twilight.
I know this will disappoint my many fans. And let’s be honest, I have a lot more fans than Raindow Dash, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. Those f*cking pussies. I am the show. But I hope to be back soon. My doc says the condition can be treated with drugs. I only hope some of those drugs are hallucinogenics.
Grave’s Disease (not to be confused with Peter Graves’ Disease) is an autoimmune disease of the Thyroid gland. Symptoms include irritability, sleeping problems, fast heartbeat, diarrhea and eye bulging, among others.
Sources on the set say that Twilight Spark’s behavior had changed recently and that she had become “difficult to work with.”
“She was getting very irritable” said a behind the scenes worker on the set.
I brought her coffee one morning, milk and two sugars just like she always liked it and she took a sip and threw it in my face screaming “What is this motherf*cking shit? I asked for coffee. This isn’t f*cking coffee!” Then she kicked me in the groin with her hooves. I filed a grievance with my union. I mean I’m used to having anal sex with stars but being hit in the nuts? That’s against the collective bargaining agreement.
Twilight Sparkle had also been complaining about difficulty sleeping. leading to a deterioration in her on-air performance.
“She just couldn’t remember her lines” said the director.
We’d have to do take after take. And that costs money. We thought of firing her but everyone was afraid of her temper. She had grown so irritable. And she was concerned about her appearance. Specifically her eyes were growing larger and bulging out. She was getting gross to look at.
Finally the Discovery Family Channel, which runs the My Little Pony show forced Twilight Sparkle to go to a doctor where the diagnosis of Grave’s Disease (not to be confused with Peter Graves’ Disease) was made.
Given medication for her hyperthyroidism Twilight, after consultation with her management, decided to take a leave of absence.
“We wish Twilight Sparkle well and are confident she will once again be back on the show” said Discovery Family spokesman.
Grave’s disease (not to be confused with Peter Graves’ disease) can have serious health ramifications. And frankly her bulging eyes were beginning to freak us all out.
Until her return Twilight Sparkle will be replaced on the show with Steve Buscemi.
“I look forward to this challenge. And no I don’t have Graves Disease nor Peter Grave’s Disease” said Buscemi.
Peter Graves’ Disease, often confused with Grave’s Disease, is named after actor Peter Graves and involves the uncontrollable urge to watch a cassette tape recorder burn up.