Emilio Largo Leaves Spectre to Focus on Financial Crimes and Pizza!

Respect the eye patch!

Respect the eye patch!

The Special Executive for Counter-Intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion (Spectre) suffered a debilitating blow when their second in command, Emilio Largo, quit to form his own company.

Sources say that Largo had been unhappy for some time with Spectre’s command structure and saw no hope of advancement.

“He really felt that he should have been number one and in charge of Spectre” said a source who wishes to remain anonymous.

When he joined Spectre the leadership was supposed to rotate. Largo assumed that he would get a chance to head Spectre. Instead Stavro Blofeld took control and never relinquished it.This was very frustrating for Largo. He felt that with his background he was the most evil person in the world.  I mean he had an eye patch. Have you ever met anyone with an eye patch who wasn’t evil? I mean besides Moshe Dayan?

As for Largo, he has created a startup evil organization centered on financial crimes and pizza.

“My organization will mainly be committing white color financial crime using the internet” he told reporters at a press conference launching his organization.

This will differentiate is from Spectre which, while undoubtedly evil, has a large overheard, is cumbersome and rooted in 20th century crime models. My organization will be totally modern and cutting edge. And most exciting of all we will also be making pizza! I used to make pizza when I was a child back in Italy. It was a secret family recipe that everybody in the town loved. If all goes according to my business model we will corner the pizza market in America. And we’ll use the financial crimes to finance it. It’s a truly evil plan. Because I am evil. The eye patch proves it. Have you ever known anyone who had an eye patch and wasn’t evil?  I mean besides Moshe Dayan? 

On CNBC’s Squawk Box hosts Becky Quick and Joe Kernan hailed Largo for his vision.

“He’s taking a big chance” said Quick.

But if he can modernize evil, bring evil into the 21st century, and make delicious pizza not only will he be remembered for his contribution to evil but also for his contribution to pizza. 

“This is true” countered Kernan.

Evil need to be refreshed from time to time. I mean we in the media can only do so much to move evil forward. We depend on civilians. Evil civilians. And this fellow Largo is evil. Look at his eye patch. Have you ever known anyone who wore and eye patch who wasn’t evil? Besides Moshe Dayan?

Largo’s new organization called “Evil Hut” will be opening franchises in several states in the Midwest and plans to expand to the entire continental United States next year.

“Come for the pizza. Stay for the identity theft” will be its slogan.

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2 Responses

  1. LSP says:

    “financial crimes and pizza.”

    This is starting to sound a lot like Windsor, Ontario. Scary.

    • Manhattan Infidel says:

      Largo is evil. And evil, much like Hillary Clinton, believes in open borders. So I’m not surprised he’s been to WIndsor.

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