Browsing the blog archives for November, 2013
Today at the worldwide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel I am privileged to be the recipient of a visit from the lost boy from Never Land, Peter Pan himself. MI: Good morning Mr. Pan. PP: Please. I ain’t no mister. I’m a kid. Call me Peter. MI: Very well. So tell me Peter, what’s it like living such a […]
The evil that is Sarah Palin has struck again, slamming a typhoon into the Philippines and killing an estimated 10,000, leaving millions homeless and property damage in the hundreds of millions. “I haven’t seen so much death and destruction since I went to that Who concert in Cincinnati!” declared a grief-stricken Vice President Biden. As […]
With Thanksgiving approaching in a few weeks many may be seeking places to take a vacation. May I take this opportunity to suggest the beautiful state of New Mexico? New Mexico has much to offer: natural beauty, scenic drives and pre-Colombian ruins. And with that in mind I now present my personal guide to the […]
C3PO has been chosen by the Obama administration to redesign the much-maligned healthcare.gov website. “I must admit this offer came out of left field” declared the lucky protocol droid. Before this my only experience with computers was uploading Quick Time video messages for Princess Leia. But I was recently upgraded and now I come with […]
Bill de Blasio, the mayor-elect of New York City has announced a five-year economic plan to revitalize the city. “My New Economic Policy is what this city needs to move forward” declared de Blasio. Naturally this will entail change and change will always be painful to the entrenched capitalist interests. The first part of the […]
Warren Wilhelm, Jr., better known as Bill de Blasio has won a landslide election and will become the next mayor of New York City. As a well-respected blogger and reporter I was delivering the pizza I was able to gain access to de Blasio’s campaign headquarters and had a front row seat for his acceptance […]
Educators have discovered the root cause of racism in America: the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “The Klan, school bombing and slavery. These were all caused by peanut butter and jelly” declared the head of the Pacific Education Group, which is spearheading the move to ban the PB&J from all public schools. Think of the […]
Dateline June 1781. Ye Olde New Yorke Times Thomas Jefferson, governor of the colony of Virginia is on the run and his whereabouts are currently unknown. The King’s representative, Banarste Tarleton, and his 250-man cavalry force are searching for Jefferson and members of the Virginia Assembly and hope to capture him soon. “This man Jefferson […]
Beetle Bailey, a private at Camp Swampy has been dishonorably discharged from active service in the United States Army. “Said Private Bailey has repeatedly violated many army regulations” are the first words on his discharge papers. Among Bailey’s infractions are: Sleeping in and missing reveille Missing bed check Staying out all night Smoking marijuana on […]