de Blasio Announces Five-Year Plan for New York City

My new economic plan will collective the city!

My new economic plan will collectivize the city!

Bill de Blasio, the mayor-elect of New York City has announced a five-year economic plan to revitalize the city.

“My New Economic Policy is what this city needs to move forward” declared de Blasio.

Naturally this will entail change and change will always be painful to the entrenched capitalist interests.  The first part of the plan will a necessary decree on property. Under this decree stores in New York City will be collectivized.  Store proprietorship will be abolished forthwith without any compensation to the capitalists.

de Blasio then gave the details of his progressive economic plan.

  • Stores and church land and everything pertaining thereto shall be placed at the disposal of the property committee of the New York City Soviet Peasant’s Deputies.
  • All damage to confiscated property, which henceforth belongs to the whole people, is proclaimed a grave crime punishable by the citizen’s revolutionary courts of New York City.
  • Private ownership of stores, condos and apartment buildings shall be abolished forever.
  • Persons who suffer by this property revolution shall be deemed to be entitled to public support only for the period necessary for adaptation to the new conditions of life.
  • High-level stores shall not be divided up but shall be converted into model stores to be turned over for exclusive use to the City or to the communes depending on the size or importance of such stores.
  • The question of compensation shall be examined by the City Soviet Peasant’s Deputy Committee.
  • The employment of hired labor shall not be permitted.
  • Peasants who owing to old age or ill health are permanently disabled and unable to cultivate former property of capitalists shall lose the right to the use of it but shall be entitled to receive a pension from the city.
  • All property when alienated shall become part of the City property fund.
  • Should the available property fund in a particular district prove inadequate for the needs of the local population, the surplus population shall be settled elsewhere.
  • Resettlement shall be effected in the following order:  landless peasants desiring to resettle, then members of the commune who are of vicious or capitalist habits, deserters and so on, and finally by lot or agreement.

“This plan shall ensure a dominant future for our beloved city” said de Blasio.

By eliminating private property we shall eliminate the class struggle.  What could possibly go wrong?

The New York City Soviet Peasant’s Deputy Committee shall have its first meeting next week.



4 Responses

  1. petermc3 says:

    …further, all white men shall divorce their racist wives and marry tiny illegal women of color, all men of color will take up with the newly divorced racist white bitches but may elect to keep their tiny wives of color, all school boys will adapt the afro and will smile all the time, the school day will begin with the patented de Blasio family slap down, and finally, in a salute to the outgoing Mayor Bloomberg, no longer will 40 ouncer’s exceed 16 oz’s.

  2. Gee, New York will now be just like Caracas; only bigger and colder. Is he going to make Spanish the official language of the Grand Manzana?

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