Though better known as arch enemies who have fought each other many times, Godzilla and King Kong have teamed up to film a PSA warning about the dangers of cisgender bullying.
I recently sat down with the two to discus their joint venture.
MI: Good afternoon Godzilla and King Kong it’s a pleasure to be able to talk to both of you.
Godzilla: Thank you.
KK: Hey, I noticed you said “Godzilla and King Kong.” Why does he get top billing?
Godzilla: Jesus let it rest just this once, man.
KK: I’m just saying. I’m the bigger star everyone knows it.
Godzilla: Oh why don’t you shove it up your –
MI: Let’s talk about your PSA. The two of you are uniting to fight cisgender bullying. Why the PSA? Why now?
Godzilla:Well it’s a serious issue. We both felt we couldn’t keep silent any longer. Every day hundreds of thousands of gender fluid people around the globe are bullied by cisgenders. It’s the civil rights issue of our day.
MI: And you, King Kong?
KK: My agent said I should do this.
Godzilla:What my friend Kong means is that he is as concerned as I am about gender fluid people possibly committing suicide after being bullied by the cisgenders. And that’s wrong. It must stop.
KK: I can speak for myself asshole.
MI: So tell me, what was it like working together? Usually the two of you are fighting each other. Are you friends now?
Godzilla: We’ve always been friends. We were pitted against each other by outside forces.
KK: Whatever.
Godzilla: Finally I said to Kong, “Why are we fighting? This is exactly what the white man wants us to do.”
KK: Technically it was the Asian man.
Godzilla: No it was the white man. It’s always the white man. He is the devil. Nothing but cisgender bullies. And we want to put an end to that.
KK: I don’t even know what a cisgender is.
Godzilla: Have you looked between your legs?
KK: Hey, nothing wrong with what’s between my legs asshole. What’s between your legs? Is it soft?
Godzilla: You see kids, that’s what cisgender bullying is. If you’ve been bullied by a cisgender please don’t keep it to yourself. Contact a civil rights worker and let them know.
MI: I thank you for your time. I had no idea cisgender bullying was so prevalent.
Godzilla: That’s why we’ve united for this PSA. We want to help. We are role models to kids, well I am anyway –
KK: Bite me
Godzilla: – and we want to use our influence to make the world a better place.
MI: Thank you. And to my readers, keep an eye out for this PSA and its powerful message.
Godzilla: It was a pleasure meeting with you Manhattan Infidel.
KK: I gotta fire my agent. Hey can someone give me a f*cking cigarette?
I don’t know about you but I got the distinct feeling that Kong’s heart wasn’t into it. He must be having financial problems. I hope they paid him well for the PSA.
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I won’t lie, that was a pretty powerful post. And let’s not forget Joe Biden, “Transsexualism is the greatest civil rights issue of our time.” Or something like that, and he would know.
Gender is a fluid thing, unlike the shakes at Burger King which are rock solid.