Why do Christians hate technology and progress?

The news started coming in from Paris late Friday afternoon:  A series of coordinated attacks in the city that  had killed over 120 people.

While the MSM was cautious as to the motives and the attackers, we at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ did not share their caution.  For there can be only one possible explanation:  Right wingers, most likely Christians, most likely followers of the hated Ben Carson were responsible for this attack at the very heart of modern society.

Using my contacts in the MSM I share a coke dealer with a network anchor I was able to get the following facts:

• At 8:30 local time two explosions were heard outside the Stade de France where thousands were gathered to watch a soccer match.  Witnesses reports seeing swarthy looking men who were shouting “Allah Akbar” before the explosions.
• At 9:30 there were reports of shootings at the Petit Cambodge restaurant.  As with the Stade de France, swarthy looking men shouted “Allah Akbar” as they started shooting.
• Around the same time at the Bataclan Theater where patrons were watching a concert by the Eagles of Death Metal, Kalishnikov-wielding gunmen entered the theater and started shooting wildly.

So now the questions are why and who?  Some in the media, irresponsible people at that, have claimed that the attackers were Muslims. Anyone who blames Muslims is a racist.  Islam, the Religion of Peace™ would never do something like this.

Who is responsible then?

Let’s take a look at the evidence:

The first attack took place at a soccer game.  Who hates soccer?  Stupid, unsophisticated Americans who do not live in New York or LA.

The second attack was at a French restaurant.  Who hates French restaurants?  Stupid, fat Americans who eat at McDonalds or Burger King.

The third attack was at at Death Metal concert. Who hates Death Metal? Fat, unsophisticated, prudish, puritanical Americans.

Who does this point to?  Republicans of course.  Probably wild-eyed Christian freaks. My French is bad but the phrase “Allah Akbar” I believe translates as “Glory be to the father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.”

Given this there can be no doubt that Christians are responsible for the attacks.

Why?

Christians hate science. Christians hate progress.  Christians would turn the clock back and return us to the 13th century.

Who of the the Republican candidates is most associated with  right-wing fundamentalism? Ben Carson of course.

I call out Ben Carson as the murderer that he is.

Ben Carson did this.

Ben Carson hates the 21st century.

Ben Carson must be arrested and extradited to France to stand trial for his crimes against humanity.

Once this has been done we can arrest those fake Hispanics, Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio.

Once that has been done we can get to work outlawing Christianity.  (Well not all denominations.  The mainstream Protestants such as the Episcopalians, the Presbyterians and the Lutherans have made their peace with modern society.)

But Catholics need to be rounded up and put into concentration camps.

Only then will modern society be free of terrorism.

If you disagree with me you are stupid and racist.

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