In Praise of Swastika Poop

I apologize for all poop

I apologize for all poop

With the resignation of the University of Missouri’s President and Chancellor over “systemic racism and Nazi poop” we here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ must ask, “Why the fuss?

Why were students of a liberal university outraged over a swastika? They shouldn’t be.  They should be proud of the poop swastika. The swastika is after all the symbol of the Nazi Party. The National Socialist German Worker’s Party.  Much like the Democratic Party of 2015, the Nazis believe in socialism and redistribution of wealth.

The Democrats hate banks and bankers?  So did the Nazis.

The Democrats hate Jews?  So did the Nazis.

Let’s take a look at a few of the political planks of the Nazi party:

  1. The Nazis demanded the nationalization of all trusts.
  2. The Nazis demanded profit sharing in large industries.
  3. The Nazis demanded a generous increase in pensions.
  4. The Nazis demanded that “ruthless war be waged against those who work to the injury of the common welfare. Traitors, usurers, profiteers, etc., are to be punished with death.”
  5. The Nazis demanded that “the State must assume the responsibility of organizing thoroughly the entire cultural system of the people.”
  6. The Nazis demanded that “Newspapers transgressing against the common welfare shall be suppressed.”
  7. In order to carry out this ambitious program the Nazis pledged to create a “strong central authority in the State, the unconditional authority by the political central parliament of the whole State and all its organizations.”
  8. The Nazi party “fights against the Jewish materialist spirit within and without.”

I ask you, exactly what in this program is so offensive to college students?  Isn’t this the political platform of the Democratic Party?

Instead of being offended by a poop swastika the students at the University of Missouri should be celebrating this poop as a symbol of tolerance and diversity.

We ask that Americans unite behind this symbol of poop tolerance.

We ask that poop swastikas be recognized by President Obama for the symbol of peace that it is.

We demand a proactive policy of placing poop swastikas on every university and workplace in America.

We demand this not because we are intolerant of opposing views (except for conservatives).

We demand poop swastikas because we are tolerant.

We ask that the current curriculum of so-called math (which is racist) be replaced by studies of poop swastikas: Its meaning. Its place in history.

We demand that on the anniversary of the Battle of Gettysburg that the reading of the Gettysburg Address be replaced with veneration of poop swastikas.

We at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel ask all Americans to glory in the poop Swastika and to cover their homes with poop swastikas.

We ask that this symbol of tolerance and all this is great about America be smeared on the Capitol and the White House.

It is only through the sharing of poop swastikas that America can defeat the Jew-loving racists of the Republican party.

Poop Swastikas today!

Poop Swastikas tomorrow!

Poop Swastikas forever!

Suppression of opposing viewpoints is true freedom!

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