Middle Earth Hit with Migrant Crisis!

Soon the very character of Erador and Gondor will disappear!

Soon the very character of Erador and Gondor will disappear!

With the civil war in Mordor still raging the other Kingdoms of Middle Earth face a humanitarian crisis as hundreds of thousands of refugee enter their territories.

“Gondor and Rohan are at the breaking point” said Frodo, who first noticed the migrants leaving Mordor when he went to the kingdom to destroy the Ring of all Power.

These people coming from Mordor are the enemy.  They don’t share our values. These orcs and urak hai will destroy our way of life and be the death of us. Literally.  And none of us can complain because if we do we are called racist.  I tell you it’s all political.

Circumstantial evidence seems to favor Frodo’s observation. In many towns where the orcs stay long-time residents complain of the filth and increase in crime.

“I can’t even go out at night to the pub anymore” said one.

The last time I went out some urak hai chased me.  I barely got away.  I could hear them laughing all the time and saying “Looks like meat’s back on the menu boys!” I was scared and hid down by the river.  I was lucky I made it back home alive!

The small hamlet of the Shire, home to Middle Earth’s hobbits has been particularly hard hit.

“The place was devastated” said Samwise Gamgee, a resident.

The migrants were living in our homes, garbage was everywhere. Buildings were falling down.  The place was in total disarray. When I complained I was told to shut up and be more sensitive to the needs of the so-called migrants. Sensitive? All I want to do is preserve the way of life in the Shire!  Is that too much to ask for? Does being proud of the Shire and being a hobbit suddenly make me racist? When did it become wrong to say our way of life is better than the Orcs? We’re cleaner.We practice hygiene. That’s all I’m going to say.  

Aragorn, son of Arathorn and rightful heir to the thrones of Arnor and Gondor asks his people to be patient and “look to their better halves.”

As King I believe that an enlightened, compassionate policy of economic justice will restore our world to its former glory. Already I have instituted mandatory free health care and redistribution of wealth. But in order for my system to work I need a high birth rate.  The hobbits, and I love them, I really do, just don’t have enough children for my economic system to survive. The orcs and the urak hai on the other hand continue to breed.  Yes, I know that I run the risk of our own kind becoming a minority. But that is just a short term pain we have to deal with. I’m confident that the orcs will become fully assimilated.

Many do not share Aragorn’s optimism and have silently, sullenly begun hiding their weapons before Aragorn’s “Middle Earth Safe Act” weapon confiscation program takes effect.

“I’ll give you my staff when you take it from my cold, dead hands” said Gandalf the White.



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