Emilio Estefan and his wife Gloria, Shakira, Carlos Santana, Wyclef Jean and others have released the single “We’re All Mexican” in hopes of stopping Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump and his “hateful anti-Hispanic sentiment.”
The hastily put-together protest song was recorded and immediately shipped north for distribution in the United States.
“We are hoping to get the word out to Americans that Mexicans are just like everybody else. Only shorter and illegal” said Estefan.
And even though my wife and I are Cuban, and Shakira is Columbian and Wyclef Jean is Haitian and has lived in the United States since he was nine we all have one thing in common: pride in our Hispanic heritage. And hot tempers. Now Carlos Santana, I think he is Mexican. In fact he must be. During the recording session he stole some copper wire in the studio.
After being recorded and pressed, copies of the single were loaded into trucks and driven across the border into the United States in the dead of night.
“We were afraid that the border patrol might seize the vehicles” said Estefan.
Unfortunately of the 200 trucks carrying the single, 197 were involved in car crashes on interstates, damaging their contents.
“I knew I should have hired Americans. Everyone knows Mexicans can’t drive” lamented Estefan.
Of the three trucks that did not crash, two were captured and sent north to the sanctuary city of San Francisco where, last seen, copies of the single were lying on street corners. The last truck has not been heard from and is feared to have a victim of gang-related violence.
Speaking to reporters about the single, Estefan maintains his pride in his involvement.
Although we were hoping for better results the point has been made. Anti-Hispanic rhetoric by the white man will not be tolerated. Cubans, Colombians, Haitians, Dominicans, Venezuelans and Brazilians. We are all united to stop prejudice against our short, roly poly Hispanic blood brothers from Mexico. Speaking of which it’s time I dropped my laundry off. Nice Mexicans run the laundromat by me. I think they are overcharging me but hey, oppression.
As a service to my readers I now present the moving lyrics of this song against prejudice:
There comes a time
When we heed a certain call
When the world must come together as one (Except for Argentinians who can all go to hell)
There are people crossing the border
And it’s time to lend a hand to the Democratic party
The greatest gift of all
We are Cental America
We are the Mexicans
We are the ones who are stealing copper wire in Inland California and speeding past intersections
There is a choice we’re making
Were saving our own lives
I mean everyone loves Mexicans but you know they are terrible behind the wheel of a car
Send them your heart and 40 percent of your income
So they’ll know that someone cares and socialism lives
And their lives will be stronger and free and dependent on the government
We are Central America
We are the Mexicans (the Guatemalans, Salvadorans and Hondurans can go to hell, I mean how dare they try to enter the southern border of Mexico!)
We are the ones who are stealing copper wire
So let’s start giving 40 percent of our income
There is a choice we’re making
We’re feeling good about ourselves
It’s true we’ll make a better day, just you and me and redistribution of wealth (Vote for Bernie!)
(37)
That’s a very moving song.