Brian Williams Makes Triumphant Return to Television!

Not the most trusted name in news

Not the most trusted name in news

Disgraced  former nightly news anchor Brian Williams, pictured here,

Brian Williams returns to the MSNBC studios

Brian Williams returns to the MSNBC studios

made a triumphant return to television, anchoring the afternoon breaking news on NBC’s sister network, MSNBC.

As his helicopter took flak from FOX news snipers located on building roofs along Sixth avenue, a ladder was lowered, and Williams, his bulging, glistening biceps exposed because of his shirtlessness, emerged onto the street.

“My mission is to go into FOX studios and release our prisoners” he said.

Williams then entered FOX news headquarters and began his stealth mission.

In constant contact with his superiors who had ordered the mission Williams asked for orders.

“Now if there’s any of our men in MSNBC studios you confirm their presence by taking photographs” Said MSNBC president Phil Griffin.

Shocked because he thought he was going to rescue hostages, Williams asked for clarification.

“Photographs?  I’m supposed to leave them here?”

“Under no circumstances are you to engage the enemy!” said Griffin. “Brian I want you to try and forget the war. Remember the mission. The old MSNBC’s dead.”

“Sir” replied Williams. “I’m alive, it’s still alive. Do we get to win this time?”

Incredulous, but still a loyal soldier, Williams entered Fox headquarters to photograph MSNBC prisoners.

It was then that Williams was captured by Fox security guards and brought to a cell in the basement where he was tied up and tortured.

The evil Fox guard sneered at the brave Williams.

“You may scream. There is no shame” he said while laughing at his prisoner.

I see you are no stranger to pain. Perhaps you have been among my Fox comrades before? What you must understand is that we have to interrogate you. To me, you are a comrade, similar to myself, just opposed by an act of fate. I know you are trying to facilitate the release of MSNBC war criminals held by Fox. I can appreciate this. But this incident, your capture is… embarrassing. We must have an explanation. First of all, I wish you to radio your headquarters and say that you have been captured and condemned for espionage activities, and that no such criminal aggression should be attempted in the future or they will meet with the same fate as yours.

“Fuck you” replied Williams.

It was then that Williams overpowered his guard, grabbed his automatic weapon and freed the MSNBC prisoners, taking them across Sixth avenue to MSNBC studios.

Expecting a hero’s welcome he was dismayed by his superior’s reaction.

“What are you doing? Do you know what the hell you’ve done?” screamed Griffin.

Why didn’t you follow orders?  If you had gone in and done what the hell you was supposed to do, we’d be out of this clean and simple. You was just supposed to take pictures! Now the entire world knows the Fox still has prisoners.  The war is over Williams!  The war is over!

Throwing his cigarette on the floor, Williams contemptuously sneered at Griffin.

“To survive a war, you gotta become war.”

Fox News denies having any hostages and says the raid was a hoax.


5 Responses

  1. Petermc3 says:

    William’s escapades were based on the life and times of former heavyweight boxing title contender Chuck-The Baonne Bleeder-Wepner and his paramor Adrian. Both are suing Stallone-oops- Williams, MSNBC, Fox, Sixth Avenue and The Hulk.

  2. Petermc3 says:

    Hey MI, I’m making my once a year pilgrimage to Yankee Stadium on October 1st. Will you be there?

  3. Petermc3 says:

    Da man be keeping ya’ll down homey.

  4. LSP says:

    Who is this “Brian” Williams, if that’s his real name, which I doubt.

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