Popemobile Ticketed by NYPD!

All I have are Euros I hope the NYPD takes those

All I have are Euros I hope the NYPD takes those

In the latest embarrassment for the financially strapped Vatican, the Popemobile was ticketed by the NYPD during Pope Francis’ visit to New York City.

As part of his visit the Pope was scheduled to give a mass at St. Patrick’s Cathedral on Fifth Avenue.  The Popemobile was parked at the corner of 50th and Fifth and was ticketed by NYPD officers during the mass.

“You know the Pope’s in town” said the officer responsible for ticketing the Popemobile.

There’s extra security. No one is allowed around St. Patrick’s without a special pass. The streets are shut down. We have helicopters flying overhead. I mean I don’t care. It’s overtime for me.  Capish? But I’m walking my beat and I see this car.  I dunno I thought it was a Prius. My lieutenant said “That’s the Pope’s car!”  Look it doesn’t matter to me what a man drives you understand as long as he obeys the rules. But it’s a crappy car.  So I gave him two tickets.  One for parking in a no parking zone and the other for having the wheels of his Popemobile more the 12 inches from the curb.  I got to make my quota you know. 

As Pope Francis emerged onto Fifth Avenue after the mass and approached the Popemobile he noticed the tickets on his windshield. As he examined the tickets the Pope was heard to exclaim, “Hijo de puta!” which roughly translates as “Gosh darn!”

The Pope then walked to the 17th Precinct on 51st street in an attempt to pay the fine. When told how much the fines cost the embarrassed Pope

I knew I should have visited the currency exchange at the airport!

I knew I should have visited the currency exchange at the airport!

emptied his pockets.

“You know I kind of felt sorry for him” said the precinct’s sergeant.

All he had in his pockets were some Euros, a St. Christopher medallion, an Argentinian passport and a coupon for half off on any order over ten dollars at Papa John’s.  He seemed genuinely contrite.  “I didn’t know I couldn’t park there” he kept saying. I told him that this is New York. Capish?  If the sign says don’t park then don’t park.  Shame if something were to happen to the Popemobile and it ended up in the East River.

Without money to pay the fines the Pope then started calling acquaintances in the City. He was finally able to reach the Argentinian ambassador and waited in the lobby

I had better get a f*cking receipt!

I had better get a f*cking receipt!

for him to arrive with the money.

Once the ambassador arrived the Pope paid his fine and blessed the officers before leaving.

Within minutes Pope Francis was back at the Popemobile, which was now covered in graffiti and had a parking boot on it.

“¿Qué carajo?” he muttered, which roughly translates as “Whoops.”


3 Responses

  1. petermc3 says:

    Uber car would be an acceptable alternative if the Vatican could afford cab fare.

Leave a Reply

Using Gravatars in the comments - get your own and be recognized!

XHTML: These are some of the tags you can use: <a href=""> <b> <blockquote> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>