Suicide Bomber Convention Ends in Tragedy

The Hard Rock Cafe in Las Vegas, site of the tragedyThe first annual Suicide Bomber and Liberace Fan Club Convention in Las Vegas ended in tragedy today when one of the bombers died from an apparent food allergy.

“We had just come from buying new Air Jordan 2010 sneakers and were eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches” said Abdul-Majeed Hussein. “All of a sudden Fareed started choking and his face got real swollen.  He collapsed and stopped breathing.”

Fareed Rasheen was taken to the hospital where he later died.  An autopsy revealed that he died due to an allergic reaction to peanut butter.

Reaction to the death from the other suicide bombers ranged from disbelief to shock to anger.

“This is just like the infidel” said one.  “We just wanted to come to Las Vegas and have a good time before killing Americans and one of us dies from peanut butter.  I don’t trust peanut butter.  The swirls in the peanut butter are anti-Islamic.” 

Another bomber told police “I can’t believe Fareed is dead!  He had so much to blow himself up for.”

From Pakistan the mother of the dead suicide bomber expressed anger at the American Government.

“My son should still be alive!  When I encouraged him to become a suicide bomber I had no idea he would die.”  

With her lawyer at her side she then announced a $500 million lawsuit against the Federal Government, The State of Nevada and Marg Helgenberger from the hit TV show CSI.

The Hard Rock Cafe and Casino, which was hosting the convention has started an internal investigation into the incident.

“We take it very seriously when our guests die. Well, except for John Entwistle of course.”  said a spokesman for the hotel.

As for the suicide bombers themselves, they plan to take their convention elsewhere next year.

“The Hard Rock Cafe lied to us.  They promised us Whitney Houston and she never showed up.  First they kill us with peanut butter and then they deny us Whitney Houston.  I am tired of their infidel tricks!”


5 Responses

  1. innominatus says:

    Let’s airdrop peanut M&Ms into Waziristan. There may not be many who die of peanut allergies, but it’d be fun to watch the survivors fight over the candy.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    An excellent suggestion!

  3. Matt says:

    I wonder if Fareed will get his virgins? I don’t know if Islam has some sort of clause or opt out for not actually blowing up?

  4. Manhattan Infidel says:

    No virgins for Fareed. However as punishment for not blowing up infidels he will get sara jessica parker.

  5. Mark says:

    Sara Jessica Parker? The salt monster said that was her name.
    She also said they used to roam the country side like buffalo. She’s so quirky!

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