Town of Bedford Falls Asks George Bailey to Leave

George Bailey has caused lots of problems for Bedford FallsWith its housing market severely distressed, credit nonexistent and with no tax base, the city council of Bedford Falls has asked longtime resident George Bailey to “get the hell out of town.”

“We used to have a good town until Bailey screwed everything up” said the Mayor.  “Business was good.  People could buy homes without worrying that their investment would become worthless.  But now?  Look at Main Street!”

Since the housing bust Main Street has become a ghost town of boarded up formerly thriving businesses.  An investigation into the cause of the crash has placed the blame on Bailey’s Savings and Loan Association.  Mr. Bailey’s Association has long been known in town for its controversial policy of sub prime mortgages.  Mr. Bailey has often insisted that by loaning money to the underprivileged he is helping the town in the long run.

During hearings into the crash Bailey told the Town Council, “Why here – you’re all businessmen here. Doesn’t it (giving the working class mortgages) make them better citizens? Doesn’t it make them better customers?”

You – you said – what’d you say a minute ago? They had to wait and save their money before they even ought to think of a decent home. Wait? Wait for what? Until their children grow up and leave them? Until they’re so old and broken down that they… Do you know how long it takes a working man to save five thousand dollars? Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this rabble you’re talking about… they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community.

A member of the Town Council called Bailey’s defense “impassioned and his heart is in the right place but he has no idea what he is talking about.” 

The crisis in Beford Falls financial community started when many of the people who had received mortgages at the hands of Bailey defaulted forcing the First Bank of Bedford Falls, run by Henry Potter to plunge 30 million in reserves into the market.  The money, while welcome came too late to prevent the crash.

With businesses failing and its tax base down, Bedford Falls was forced to lay off half its police force.

The end for George Bailey came as the result of certain financial improprieties at the Savings and Loan.    Last month Bailey defaulted on $800,000 in Savings and Loan debts.  Fearing “scandal, bankruptcy and prison” Bailey took to drinking heavily and left his wife.

There are also reports that money from his Savings and Loan found its way into the bank account of local dancer Violet Bick, a blond of dubious reputation.

“Why the whole town knows he’s been giving money to Violet Bick” said Mr. Potter.

Despite many who testified in favor of Bailey the Council has voted 7-2 in favor of a nonbinding resolution asking him to leave town within 30 days.

Mr. Bailey is expected to comply with the resolution as he has already accepted a position with the President’s Economic Advisory Council.

“George Bailey’s dedication, enthusiasm and selflessness to the downtrodden of society is exactly what this country needs and I am proud to have him as part of my Administration” said President Obama.

Mr. Bailey’s guardian angel, Clarence, who once again failed to make Angel First Class and win his wings has reportedly become despondent and moved in with Bailey’s former lover, Miss Bick.

“If I can’t get my wings I’m going to have some fun.  I’m going to grab Bick by the back of her hair and ride her ass.”


3 Responses

  1. KingShamus says:

    I always knew Frank Capra was some kinda commie-pinko rat.

  2. Matt says:

    Know I know why the bell was ringing at the end.

    Way to go Clarence!

  3. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Teacher says every time a bell rings an angel gets his freak on.

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