Yearbooks hold the clue to the future of our Republic!
If the Brett Kavanaugh hearings have taught me anything (besides the fact that our Republic is doomed and Civil War is inevitable) it is that high school yearbooks are fair game and must be closely investigated.
And so, armed only with my ruthless devotion to the facts beer, lots and lots of beer I now present for my readers certain high school yearbooks I have looked at.
First up: Dianne Feinstein.
Feinstein didn’t write much in her yearbook. In fact she only has two entries under her picture.
- “No Taxation without representation”
- “I stand with General Washington. Independence for the colonies!”
What can we infer from these rather cryptic entries? Obviously Feinstein is very old. And probably a brutal rapist. A very old brutal rapist.
Cory Booker
Senator Booker writes in his yearbook “Some people consider eating oysters to be moral and eating snails to be immoral. It is a matter of taste. And taste is not the same as appetite. Therefore not a question of morals. My taste includes both snails and oysters.”
What Mr. Booker is trying to tell us is that he is a very masculine man who only likes women. And he’s a brutal rapist.
Richard Blumenthal
Senator Blumenthal writes “Just got my draft notice. No way in hell I’m going to Vietnam!”
What to make of this? Obviously someone must have hacked into Senator Blumenthal’s yearbook as we know he served heroically in Vietnam, winning both the Purple Heart and the Medal of Honor.
Ted Kennedy
In his senior yearbook the future Senator Kennedy writes, “Been practicing driving my car into a pond until it’s upside down and submerged. I then try to get out of the car. You never know when you’ll need to add this to your skill set. Oldsmobiles are actually the easiest to get out of when submerged. You just push the girl in the passenger seat the hell out of your way and you’re home free and on dry land in no time!”
This proves that Senator Kennedy was a committed women’s rights activist who deserves our respect.
Barack Obama
The future president writes, “Just call me Barry.”
What can we infer from this? Obviously America is a racist country and the young Obama felt the need to change his name to hide his biracial origins. Probably from the Klan, which I hear is very active in Hawaii.
Elizabeth Warren
Elizabeth Warren writes, “They took the whole Cherokee nation Put us on this reservation Took away our ways of life The tomahawk and the bow and knife Took away our native tongue And taught their English to our young And all the beads we made by hand Are nowadays made in Japan Cherokee people Cherokee tribe So proud to live So proud to die They took the whole Indian nation Locked us on this reservation Though I wear a shirt and tie I’m still part redman deep inside Cherokee people Cherokee tribe So proud to live So proud to die But maybe someday when they learn Cherokee nation will return, will return Will return, will return, will return.”
I don’t know what to make of this. Perhaps it’s her subtle way of saying that she is a brutal rapist and a drunk who doesn’t have the temperament to be a U.S. senator.
Keith Richards
In his high school yearbook the future Rolling Stone writes, “I just want to live hard and die young. Don’t want to be in my 70s looking the worse from 50 years of extensive drug use.”
Sorry Keith. Sometimes the best laid plans……..
So what have we learned from looking at these high school yearbooks?
- All men (especially Republicans) are brutal rapists
- Vote Democrat
And don’t any of you jokers even think of looking at my yearbook!
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