Manhattan Infidel Presents the Official Transcript of the Brett Kavanaugh Confirmation Hearings, Part III

Tread lightly. I can kill you all with my hands









Buckle up dear readers. It’s time for Part 3!  Yes, not just 1 or 2 but 3!  (That’s III for you classy folks. And I know classy folks read my blog. They send me tons of classy dick photos anyway.)

Today it is Senator Richard “I crawled through mud fighting Charlie in Vietnam” Blumenthal’s (D-CT) turn to make this country proud.

RB: Judge Kavanaugh do you know what the phrase “falsum in uno, falsum in omnibus” means?

BK: Yes. False in one thing false in everything.

RB: What about the phrase “non circumdatio braccas”?

BK:  Excuse me?

RB: Non circumdatio braccas.  Do you know what it means?

BK: I believe it means “I am not wearing pants.”

RB: Good. What about the phrase “Utinam me tangere ubera tua?”

BK: That means “May I touch your breasts.”

RB: You answered those questions correctly. May I infer that you use those three phrases on women in a consistent fashion?

BK: Absolutely not!

RB: Not even in Latin?

BK: No!

RB: Good. I wouldn’t recommend it. I’ve used that phrase in Latin on human women and it never works.

BK: Um. Human women?

RB: Yes. Now back to the phrase“falsum in uno, falsum in omnibus.”  One could say it describes my face. 

My face closely resembles a human face in many details












BK: I don’t follow your meaning, senator.

RB: On my homeworld replicating a human face is still very difficult. Sure we can get the outline and many features but if you look closely the face still doesn’t look quite look human. It looks like a mask that will slip off.

BK: What…..what the hell are you saying senator?

RB: Oh. Nothing. Just that I  like Earth girls. I’ve traveled from the Andromeda Galaxy just to meet some.

BK:  I….are you saying you are an alien?

RB: Yes. And every 12 hours I have to revert to my natural liquid form. Because of this we have a lack of buckets on my homeworld. Earth has lots of buckets. I like that. Your women and your buckets.

BK: Jesus!

RB: Oh, I see my time is almost up. I must revert back to my liquid state. Does anyone have a bucket? Anyone? I just need a bucket. A glass will do. No? No buckets? Come on!  Are you telling me no one has a f*cking bucket?  It’s on my bucket list!

BK: Senator do you have any questions about my qualifications for the Supreme Court?

RB: No need to panic yet. If there are no buckets I sometimes spend my liquid state time inside an Earth woman’s vagina. You’d be surprised how comforting that is.

BK:  May I go?

RB: Kamala?  Senator Harris?  May I slip inside your vagina? 

White boys go to hell!








KH: F*ck off white boy.

RB:  I just want to spend 12 hours in your vagina.

KH:  That’s not even something I let my husband do!

And so ends Part III of the never ending saga of the world’s greatest deliberative body.  Stay tuned tomorrow, same Bat Time, same Bat Channel for Part IV.


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