Dateline 2017 In a far-reaching and historic decision the Supreme Court today decided that safe space zones for ethnic and sexual minorities do not violate the Constitution. “We find that the existence of segregated safe zones not only not unconstitutional we find them necessary” said justice Sona Sotomayor in the majority decision. As a woman […]

The Tortoise, fresh off his remarkable win against the hare, did not even have time to bask in his victory before the allegations of PED use began to swirl around him. “After careful analysis of his drug tests we have no choice but to invalidate his victory” declared the President of the American Association of Professional […]

The Tower of Babel, which when completed was to reach up into the sky, lies uncompleted, its workers idle, a victim of the broken system in Washington D.C. “The Tower of Babel would have been the crowning achievement of humanity” declared House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi. It would have represented the strength and compassion of […]

In a truly ground-breaking moment for diversity and inclusion, the Fire Department of New York has revised its physical standards so more women will be able to pass the test and break the grip of patriarchy currently affecting the institution. “For too long we have let old-fashioned notions of physical strength dominate our recruitment tests” […]

The jury in the Boston Marathon bombing trial sentenced Dzhokhar Tsarnaev to 72 virgins on Friday for his role in the attack that killed four and maimed 17. Immediately after the verdict was read a crowd of peoples of color outside the courtroom broke into chants of “Hands up, don’t bomb us!” and “Chechnyan lives […]

Breaking news out of Hawaii! The United States naval base at Pearl Harbor has been attacked by the Empire of Japan. News has just reached the mainland that the United States base is in shambles, its ships sunk and its sailors killed. Like many in the news media we here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™, […]

On February 20, 2015 the blogger known as Manhattan Infidel announced that he would be taking some time off to “recharge his batteries.”  Obviously by this he meant rehab and/or intensive treatment to cure his venereal disease.  Well, diseases, really. But after eight weeks he is once again ready to pick up the torch and resume […]

On February 20, 2009, a date which will live in infamy, a blog debuted which threatened the very fabric of our society. Today, society is on the verge of collapse while Manhattan Infidel grows stronger every day. Soon I will be strong enough to destroy your planet and everyone on it! (Except for Olivia Wilde […]

President Herbert Hoover stunned the nation today when during the State of the Union address he came out as a straight man. After giving a lengthy recitation of our national defense, including the presence of 1600 marines in Nicaragua, the President then turned to personal matters. “I don’t like labels” said the President.  “But if […]

The Florida Department of Oh God Why Are We Doing This We Are Tampering in God’s Domain has announced plans to release millions of genetically modified mosquitoes into the Florida Everglades. Speaking from the Department’s headquarters in Miami its director said that the release of the genetically-modified mosquitoes serves no useful purpose but it should prove […]