Manhattan Infidel Celebrates Six Years: The Paul McCartney and Wings Glorious Mullet Edition

Mullets!  Tacky clothes!  Lyrics that make no sense!  This was Manhattan Infidel's childhood

Mullets! Tacky clothes! Lyrics that make no sense! This was Manhattan Infidel’s childhood

On February 20, 2009, a date which will live in infamy, a blog debuted which threatened the very fabric of our society. Today, society is on the verge of collapse while Manhattan Infidel grows stronger every day.

Soon I will be strong enough to destroy your planet and everyone on it! (Except for Olivia Wilde of course. Though I will be destroying Jason Sudekis.)

But while I let you humans contemplate your imminent destruction let me leave you with some birthday greetings from well-wishers who have dropped by to view my blog.  (And contrary to popular belief, only 75 percent of my visitors are from the NSA and not 95 percent as some haters claim.)

Barry Obama of Washington D.C., via Chicago Illinois writes, “Most flies they got three legs but mine got one.”

This is why redistribution of wealth is necessary Barry.  Why should fat cat flies have three legs while the working class flies have none?

Harry Reid of Nevada writes, “Admiral Halsey notified me, He had to have a berth or he couldn’t get to sea. I had another look and I had a cup of tea and a butter pie.”

Well Harry the mothballing of our Navy is a disturbing trend.  I suggest raising taxes on the rich oppressors to pay for maintaining the Navy’s infrastructure. But don’t worry.  We’ll help you hide your wealth so you don’t get taxed.

Bill Clinton of Sex Island, the Bahamas, writes, “The laser lights are pretty, we may end up in Mexico city. But listen to her daddy’s song, making love is wrong. Oo, we’re just busy riding, sitting in the back seat of my car.”

Ain’t that just like fathers?  Always trying to prevent us from having sex with their daughters.  Oh, and by the way, I f*cked Chelsea. Up the ass.

Nancy Pelosi of Washington D.C. writes, “Who you gonna weep on? Who you gonna sleep on? Who you gonna creep on next? Weeping on a willow, sleeping on a pillow Leaping armadillo, yes.”

Who you gonna creep on next? Are you sure you aren’t Joe Biden?

The Mayor New York City Warren Wilhelm, Jr. (better known by his stage name of Bill de Blasio) writes, “I thought that the Major was a little Lady Suffragette.”

Hm.  Let me parse what I think you are trying to say:  You apparently mistook a major for some sort of suffragette. I see what the problem is.  You’re an asshole.  But hey, your son has an Afro!

Bruce Jenner, former Olympian writes, “Don’t ever ask me why I never say goodbye to my love It’s understood it’s everywhere with my love.”

It’s a good thing you never say goodbye to your love because you certainly said goodbye to your penis.

Jim from Asylum Watch writes “Further on, along the line, I was arrested on the shore, holding papers of governments galore. I was taken in.”

This sounds pretty serious.  I’d get a lawyer.  And remember, the cocaine did not come from me.

Don and Matt from Conservative Hideout 2.0 write “Cafe on the left bank, ordinary wine touching all the girls with your eyes.

That’s how you got in trouble the last time!  I’m not bailing you out again! You know the police aren’t going to believe your story about touching the girls with your eyes only.

Bob from Bob’s Blog writes “Radio play me a danceable ode Cattle beware of snipers, oh when will you see me, my salamander?”

So you admit to being the cattle assassin?  And I assume my salamander is code?

LSP from Lone Star Parson writes “You’d think that people would have had enough of silly love songs but I look around me and I see it isn’t so some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs and what’s wrong with that? I’d like to know ‘Cause here I go again I love you, I love you I love you, I love you”


Petermc3 of the MC3’s of New Jersey writes, “Mamunia, mamunia, mamunia, oh oh oh Mamunia, mamunia, oh oh oh oh The rain comes falling from the sky To fill the stream that fills the sea.”

I agree with you Peter. Rising sea levels from global warming are the greatest threat to the world today.  That and gluten.

L.T. of Manhattan writes, “Bip bop, bip, bip bop Bip bop, bip, bip band dig your bottom dollar put it in your hand Try to hang out Underneath the stand Put your hands together Gonna see a band Treat me like a good boy Treat me like a man Take me hair and curlers But treat me like a man.”

So your medication is working?

A.P. of Poughkeepsie, New York writes, “Ground rice, sugar, vinegar, seco salt, macaroni too, cook of the house, I’m the cook of the house. No matter where I serve my guests, they seem to like the kitchen best ’cause I’m the cook of the house, cook of the house.”

Is this gluten-free food you are cooking?

D.B. of Philadelphia writes, “She Can Be A Belly Dancer I Don’t Need A Need Romancer She Can Be A Diplomat But I Don’t Need A Girl Like That She Can Be A Neurosurgeon If She’s Doin’ Nothing’ Urgent What I Need’s A Temporary, Temporary Secretary I Need A, I Need A Temporary Secretary. Temporary Secretary Temporary Secretary, Temporary Secretary.”

I always suspected people who live in Philadelphia have no morals.

S.J. of Harlem writes, “Well I used to smile when I was a pup sailing down the Nile in a china cup with the recipe for a lovely day sticking out of my back pocket.”

You do realize that, just like the last four years of the X Files, that makes no sense whatsoever?

And that’s about all the well wishes I have received.

It’s been a great six years. I’ve gained many new friends online. Some have come and gone.  New ones have been picked up and some have stayed with me from the beginning.  I thank you all.

But after six years, 1,525 posts and over 750,000 words it’s time for a break.  Finding the motivation to blog is getting harder and harder to do.  Accordingly I shall be taking some time off to recharge my batteries and find new burying places for the bodies in my crawlspace.

No this isn’t goodbye.  I shall be returning.  Probably sometime in March.  Maybe April.

Parole permitting.

I hope to see you then.

In the meantime you can follow me on Twitter. Click the link on the sidebar for hot and heavy Twitter action.

The Manhattan Infidel*

*Manhattan Infidel not allowed where prohibited by law.  Do not take Manhattan Infidel if you are taking nitrates for chest pain as it may cause an unsafe drop in blood pressure.  And always ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for Manhattan Infidel.


18 Responses

  1. Petermc3 says:

    A man with a mullet and drooping jowls marries a one legged woman. Now there’s a bloody song.
    Hey Infidel bring me back a T-shirt…see you soon my friend.

  2. You’re the best, my friend!
    While you are away, don’t do anything you can’t buy your way out of.

  3. LSP says:

    For me, it’s all about peace. And love.

  4. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Peace and love? Who are you? Ringo?

  5. L.T says:

    Love love love

  6. innominatus says:

    Banned. On the run.

    Now I understand the Wings reference!

  7. bob agard says:

    Hurry back! You have a rare talent we need.

  8. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Thanks Bob.

  9. Don King says:

    It’s Obama and the NSA, right? They’ve gotten to you, like they did Boehner and Roberts.

    Please come back! Don’t worry if they have photos that contain farm animals, Cool Whip and Peach Preserves. The interwebz needs you MI.

  10. LSP says:

    Perhaps you’ve stopped posting because you’re on a diversity choir workshop? Or maybe you’re too busy listening to Dean Atta?

  11. LSP says:

    You see, you have to return.

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