Person of Color Sentenced to Death by White Man’s Justice System!

This person of color has been found guilty by the white man's justice system!

This person of color has been found guilty by the white man’s justice system!

The jury in the Boston Marathon bombing trial sentenced Dzhokhar Tsarnaev to 72 virgins on Friday for his role in the attack that killed four and maimed 17.

Immediately after the verdict was read a crowd of peoples of color outside the courtroom broke into chants of “Hands up, don’t bomb us!” and “Chechnyan lives matter!” reflecting the belief in many circles that Tsarnaev is just too incredibly sexy to be a murderer and that he is being framed by the white man.

“We all know a teabagger did it” declared Al Sharpton, leader of the race of color in the United States.

Why?  Who knows.  But we all know teabaggers hate the government.  That makes them conservatives. And being a conservative makes them racist. Lots of peoples of color were running in the marathon so it was the perfect opportunity to kill off many of us.

The New York Times asked if Tsarnaev had been white whether he would have paid the ultimate penalty.

Let us imagine for a moment that instead of being a member of the religion of peace he was a blond-haired blue-eyed Christian named Jones. Would the jury have sentenced him to death? Or would this blond-haired blue-eyed Christian walk free to kill and maim again, just like his coreligionists do every day?  This is truly a dark day for America. Did the Civil Rights movement accomplish nothing?

MSNBC called for a boycott of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

“Let us shame Massachusetts into the 21st century” said anchor Lawrence O’Donnell.

Kate Brown, the bisexual governor of Oregon issued an executive order banning state employees from traveling to Massachusetts.

The fact that in America we can openly kill peoples of color has made me so upset I’ve decided to stop sleeping with cheerleaders for a week as a show of solidarity with Tsarnaev.  This is a travesty.  We all know who really killed those people in Boston.  It was George Zimmerman and the CIA.  Yeah, you heard me.  That white Hispanic killed everyone on orders of the CIA.

Meanwhile, on hearing of the death sentence the Prophet Mohammed (pictured here)

Being the prophet for the religion of peace makes me feel sexy!

Being the prophet for the religion of peace makes me feel sexy!

scrambled to find the necessary 72 virgins.

Normally I’d be running around like an infidel chicken without a head but this is the American justice system.  He’ll be on death row for years so I have some time to find virgins.  I think.

“If push comes to shove I can always hang around a Comic Con.  I know I’ll find virgins there” said the Prophet.


2 Responses

  1. Petermc3 says:

    In a show of solidarity as well as in an effort to recruit people of color and those with camels and towels in their background into its ranks NAMBLA will contribute the mandatory 72 virgins.

  2. LSP says:

    He needed “space to bomb”. I think Baltimore’s lesbian Mayor said that.

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