Tower of Babel Lies Unfinished: Victim of Republican Budget Cuts

An artist's representation of what the Tower would like like upon completion

An artist’s representation of what the Tower would look like upon completion

The Tower of Babel, which when completed was to reach up into the sky, lies uncompleted, its workers idle, a victim of the broken system in Washington D.C.

“The Tower of Babel would have been the crowning achievement of humanity” declared House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi.

It would have represented the strength and compassion of America and its leader, Barack Hussein Obama. It would have been the tallest building in the existence and would have proved to the world that American power knows no limits. But it is in danger of never being completed.  Why? Republicans will not invest billions in our infrastructure.  There can be no other reason.

From the Senate, her counterpart Harry “One Eye” Reid seconded her statement.

The tower will never be built. Why? Is it because the majority of the workers on the tower were black and Republicans wanted them to lose their jobs?  Did Mitt Romney, between leaving his dog on the top of his car and not paying his taxes for years, tell his business friends that it must not be built?  Everywhere people are dying because of our crumbling infrastructure.  We must spend, spend, spend!  I ask my Republican colleagues to put aside their racism and work together with us for the building up of the state. Oh, my eye?  Um, I fell off an exercise machine. It wasn’t an gay lover angry that I hadn’t paid him for sex. Definitely not.

At the site of the unfinished tower, Al Sharpton, spokesman for the black race in America demanded that the building be built.

Resist we much.  White racism. The tower will provide work for many African Americans.  As to when they will resume building the tower all depends on how much in kickbacks I get. Wait. Did I just say that? Isn’t that just like the white man! Always twisting my words.

From his throne in Heaven God denied that Republican budget cuts were the reason the tower lies in its current state.

Look I did it.  I scattered and confused the workers. I take full responsibility. This tower was an affront.  It represented the hubris of the fallen human race.  I could not allow it to continue.

God’s controversial statement accepting responsibility was met with derision on Capitol Hill.

“There are two things I hold sacred” said Pelosi.

Abortion. And God. And I know that my God, the God I worship would not do this. He is just like me. Compassionate and socialist. His Twitter feed must have been hacked by Republicans.

The last word must remain One-Eye Reid’s, who headed over to the construction site to look over the unemployed men.

I want to see if any need anything.  Food, water, the soft gentle touch of an older man.  Wait.  Did I just say that? Um. I mean I just want to pick a few up and bring them back to my place.  Oh for f*cks sake I mean I want to take it all.  Ah crap I’m shutting up now.

As of now the only tenants in the unfinished tower are a Starbucks and an Apple store.


4 Responses

  1. Petermc3 says:

    Give it to Trump and he’ll finish it on time and under budget.

  2. Petermc3 says:

    Would though it were.

  3. LSP says:

    It’s Bush’s fault. Thanks a lot @Rumsfeld

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