With the Zika virus threatening the upcoming summer Olympics, mosquitoes from around the world have joined together to insist that they are not transmitters of the virus. “Come on!  We get blamed for everything. It’s not our fault” said a mosquito spokesman. Why would we infect humans?  Where is the logic in that? We just […]

The National Aeronautics and Space Administration, stung by recent criticism that it can’t even put an astronaut into space, announced today that it has hired a cow to jump over the moon. “This will bring us into the 21st century” said NASA administrator Charles Bolden. We have heard the criticism that we are a useless agency whose […]

After weeks of contentious debate, the Gotham City Council has voted to raise the minimum wage to $15 an hour. Supporters of the bill, “The Gotham Living Wage Act of 2016″ hailed the passage. “This is a great day for fairness and promoting a living wage” said Gotham’s mayor Antony Garcia By increasing the wage […]

Recently two male lions were photographed engaging in homosexual behavior in Botswana. And the internet went wild. The cable network Animal Planet dispatched resources to Botswana to photograph the gay lions in the act for their new cable program “Animal Pride!” First Narrator: Welcome to Animal Planet’s groundbreaking new show entitled “Animal Pride!”  We are in Botswana where […]

Since I am a religious man sweet Jesus her skirt is short and a political junkie I sell governor Cuomo his heroin I have decided to publish the Ten Commandments. The modern version promulgated by his holiness Barack Obama.  1 And now Barack Obama spoke all these words on MSNBC which follow. 2 I, the President, am […]

On Easter Sunday animal rights activists disrupted Easter Sunday mass at St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York City. Concerned that ham would be eaten on Easter, six animal rights protesters jumped up in their pews and shouted “Easter is a time of love. No more shedding animal blood!” While I was initially angered by these […]

It’s Monday at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel­™ which means that after a weekend vomiting in alleys it is time to get back to work. If I had a job. And so I now present your horoscope.  May it comfort you while you are sending out resumes. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) If […]

Suffering from ongoing banking scandals and extreme financial embarrassment Pope Francis ordered a series of Karaoke bars to be opened throughout Vatican City in hopes of drawing in tourists. “We were looking at ways of bringing in some emergency cash” said Vatican Secretary of State Pietro Parolin. I had many meetings with His Holiness on […]

Since his election by the College of Cardinals three years ago Pope Francis has been a polarizing figure. While many applaud him for “opening” the Church up there are those who feel he is damaging the Catholic brand. Today I am excited to land my first interview with a sitting Pope. MI: Good afternoon your Holiness. PF: […]

Today at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ I have the pleasure of interviewing the former governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer. MI: Good afternoon Mr. Spitzer. ES: Whores! MI:Um, what? ES:Whores!  I love them! MI: Okay I wasn’t going to start off with that but if you want to talk about that first – ES: I’m not a […]