Manhattan Infidel Solves the Hunger and Crisis of Conscience Problems in America

Eating human flesh would solve all our problems

Eating human flesh would solve all our problems

On Easter Sunday animal rights activists disrupted Easter Sunday mass at St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York City.

Concerned that ham would be eaten on Easter, six animal rights protesters jumped up in their pews and shouted “Easter is a time of love. No more shedding animal blood!”

While I was initially angered by these protests it got me to thinking. What if they are right? What if shedding the blood of innocent pigs to eat ham is an abomination?

Having had 24 hours to think about this I believe I have come up with a solution to this issue that will salvage everyone’s conscience and as an added bonus solve the hunger crisis in America: Sell aborted baby flesh.

There are over one million abortions performed in the United States each year. That’s a lot of abandoned meat.

Now obviously the aborted baby flesh will have to pass USDA certification.  We want the baby meat to be as nutritious as any other type of meat.

The term “certified” implies that the USDA’s Food Safety and Inspection Service and the Agriculture Marketing Service have officially evaluated a meat product for class, grade, or other quality characteristics (e.g., “Certified Angus Beef”). When used under other circumstances, the term must be closely associated with the name of the organization responsible for the “certification” process, e.g., “XYZ Company’s Certified Beef.”

But even with one million abortions a year would the baby meat be enough to satisfy the carnivorous appetites of meat-eating Americans?

I don’t think so. That is why I am suggesting that other non-viables be slaughtered and added to the meat market.

And by non-viables I mean the following:

  • Those over the age of 55
  • Those who did not attend college
  • Coal miners (those rapists of our environment)
  • Those who deny the settled science of climate change
  • Those with disabilities
  • The mentally ill
  • The terminally ill
  • Those who refuse to bake cakes for gay weddings

This list obviously is not all-inclusive and can be added to. But it is a good start. But taking all these non-viables and selling their meat on the open market I believe the hunger crisis in America will end. And, as it is not animal meat, no one’s conscience need be troubled or scandalized.

This solution will solve these problems and help our economy.

Who know how many entrepreneurs will now be able to publish “How to cook human meat” cookbooks.

Also, by slaughtering and cooking the non-viables we will be reducing the population of America and by doing this we will be reducing our carbon footprint and the green house gases that lead to climate change.

So call, write or text your congressman today.  Tell him that human meat will solve all our problems!

And for those who care, here is an article on the brave animal rights activists disrupting mass at St. Patrick’s Cathedral.


3 Responses

  1. petermc3 says:

    Humans, the other red meat. Now that has a nice ring to it…

    • Manhattan Infidel says:

      I forgot to add that the elderly on Social Security need to be liquidated. They are a drain on the state.

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