My Exclusive Interview with Kate Blanchett

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Let me tell you about my vagina.

Today at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ I have the distinct pleasure of a visit from Oscar award winning actress Kate Blanchett.

MI: Good afternoon Miss Blanchett. It is a pleasure to interview you.  You’ve had a very successful career. Let’s talk about – 

KB: I want to discuss my vagina.

MI: What?

KB: My vagina. My vagina is my manager. My agent. My best friend. My counselor.

MI: Um.

KB: My moral compass is located in my vagina.  Would you like to see my vagina? Talk to it?  Here let me bring it up close to your face.

[Blanchett removes her dress and brings her vagina up closer to Manhattan Infidel’s face]

MI: Lady get your vagina out of my face!  Hey wait a minute did I actually say that?

KB: Feel my moral compass!

[Emma Watson enters] 

My vagina is special!

EW: Manhattan Infidel I’d like to talk about my vagina too!

MI: What the hell?

EW:  I put fur oil on my vagina. It’s an amazing all purpose product.

MI: I don’t need to know this.

EW: But my vagina has never felt better. Here. Feel it

[Emma Watson removes her pants]

KB: No Manhattan Infidel. Touch my vagina before you touch hers!  I’ve won an Oscar. My vagina is more important!

MI: Ladies!  I am a member of the mainstream media. Please let me have my dignity!

[Courtney Kardashian enters] 

I have the shiniest vagina in California

KC: Manhattan Infidel I like to put mayonnaise on my vagina, It really shines it up. Look!

MI: I must say that is a very shiny vagina.

KC: Shiniest vagina on the west coast.

KB & EM: But what about our vaginas?

MI: Sorry. Courtney’s is much shinier.

[Shallene Woodley enters] 

Sunshine on my vagina makes me happy

SW: Manhattan Infidel I like to give my vagina a little vitamin D. 

MI: What?

SW: If you live in a place that has heavy winters, when the sun finally comes out, spread your legs and get some sunshine.

MI: I see. Literally.

KB, EW & KC: Her vagina is not as good as ours.

[Gwyneth Paltrow enters carrying a vacuum cleaner]  

I got steam cleaned!

GP: Manhattan Infidel I like to steam clean my vagina.

MI: Why must you all talk about your vagina?

KB, EW, KC, CW & GP:  We’re actresses.  Look at our vaginas!

[They thrust their vaginas into Manhattan Infidel’s face]

MI: The things I do for my blog.

These events actually happened, As a member of the MSM I never report fake news.

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