Trump is Making Me Fat! The Tweets of Barbra Streisand

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This woman is an intellectual giant

Here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel we pride ourselves on keeping up to date with what’s happening in popular culture. And our massive digital porn collection. But mostly pop culture.

There are few pop culture icons better known or more revered than Barbra Streisand.  As a special treat to my readers I now present some of Miss Streisand’s selected tweets. May they serve to increase our admiration for this woman.

Barbra Streisand @BarbraStreisand

Donald Trump is making me gain weight. I start the day with liquids, but after the morning news, I eat pancakes smothered in maple syrup!

Barbra Streisand @BarbraStreisand

Donald Trump had shot my dog. Is there nothing this monster won’t do? Yes it was just a dream but it frightened me so much I had to fly to the Bahamas to recover.

Barbra Streisand  @BarbraStreisand

We must fight sexism wherever it exists. Kellyanne Conway deserves to be gang raped by Guatemalans carrying cucumbers and scissors.

Barbra Streisand  @BarbraStreisand

It’s been over 75 years. Isn’t it time we stopped blaming Hispanics for the attack on Pearl Harbor?

Barbra Streisand @BarbraStreisand

Education should be free. It is a travesty that anyone should have to pay for anything. In Europe everything is free. 

Barbra Streisand @BarbraStreisand

Seriously everything should be free. We should be able to take everything we need without paying. Please download my new album on my web site for $29.95.

Barbra Streisand @BarbraStreisand

I’m embarking on a tour of Scandinavia but don’t speak the language. Does anyone know a good phrase book in Scandinavian?

Barbra Streisand @BarbraStreisand

I think my husband James Brolin is trying to kill me. He keeps giving me pancakes smothered in maple syrup. I knew he worked for Trump!

Barbra Streisand @BarbraStreisand

I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

Barbra Streisand @BarbraStreisand

I probably shouldn’t have said that thing about shooting a man in Reno. Besides it wasn’t any fun. Not like the time I killed and ate a transient in Poughkeepsie.

Barbra Streisand @BarbraStreisand

Speaking of Poughkeepsie I built my criminal empire starting in that town. Prostitution, meth. I control it all.

Barbra Streisand @BarbraStreisand

I’m running out of places to bury the people I kill. My back lawn is filled with them. Oh, and Donald Trump is evil.

Barbra Streisand @BarbraStreisand

I self-identify as a Klingon but am confused as to which bathroom to use.

Barbra Streisand @BarbraStreisand

Girl Scouts showed up at my door. Wanted me to buy cookies. I invited them in. Killed them all with an ax. No I’m not sorry. Girl Scout cookies make me fat.

Barbra Streisand @BarbraStreisand

I am God and I will smite you if you do not bow down before me.  Just ask the girls scouts. No wait. I killed them.

Okay. Well.  If there is anyone reading this who knows Miss Streisand I think you should check up on her.  Her tweets have me worried. Then again. It’s Hollywood. No one will even blink an eye.

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