New York City mayor Warren Wilhelm Jr. (who goes by the stage name of Bill de Blasio) has announced plans to takeover 1,200 privately-owned co-op buildings throughout the city. Naturally this attempt to take private property from homeowners without compensation has been met with outrage and resistance.
I sat down with our Lord Mayor to get his side of the story.
MI: Good afternoon Your Holiness.
WWJ: Please comrade, you scandalize me. There is no need for titles. We are all equal in the socialist workers paradise.
MI: All equal?
WWJ: Yes, except I have private bodyguards who carry guns. You, as a common citizen cannot get a concealed carry license. If the opposition disarms, all is well and good. If it refuses to disarm we shall disarm it ourselves.
MI: But if we are all equal –
WWJ: Comrade don’t be obtuse.
MI: Okay let’s discuss your plan to seize co-ops. Aren’t you afraid that taking private property will lose you votes?
WWJ: Votes? What is the power of a vote? Let them all vote for my opponent. It won’t matter. It’s not the people who vote that count. It’s the people who count the votes. And I control the ballot.
MI: Um. I see. But back to your co-op plan. Why seize private property in the first place? What about the owners who have sunk their money and lives into their property? What about their freedom?
WWJ: You are mistaken comrade. True freedom can only be where there is no exploitation and oppression of one person by another.
MI: But these homeowners have put in money –
WWJ: We will hang the capitalists and use rope they have sold us!
MI: Wait. Hang capitalists? But New York doesn’t have the death penalty except for killing police!
WWJ: The capitalists who strive only for profit, only to get rich are the most worthless people.
MI: What the hell are you talking about? They only want to keep the homes they have paid for.
WWJ: To choose one’s victims, to prepare one’s plan minutely, to slake an implacable vengeance, and then to go to bed. There is nothing sweeter in the world.
MI: I think you’ve gone insane.
WWJ: As we know the goal of every struggle is victory. But if the proletariat is to achieve victory, all the workers, irrespective of nationality, must be united. Clearly, the demolition of national barriers and close unity between the Russian, Georgian, Armenian, Polish, Jewish and other proletarians is a necessary condition for the victory of the proletariat of all New York City.
MI: Okay I’m just going to back away slowly.
WWJ: Comrade I see you oppose the proletariat. For this I will have you removed to a savage and distant land without civilization.
MI: You’re going to send me to The Bronx?
WWJ: Take this man away. He must be re-educated.
[Armed security guards come to take Manhattan Infidel to a re-education camp.]
MI: You can’t do this. My readers will object.
MI: Okay my mother will object!
So ended my interview with New York’s Lord Mayor Warren Wilhelm Jr. (aka Bill de Blasio aka Bill de Bolshevik).
And if you think Mayor de Bolshevik won’t take your private property I direct you to the following article:
But this being New York City he will probably be re-elected in another landslide.