I would have won a third term

Now that the Christmas rush is over it is time to sit back and reflect on the previous year. Joining me to do this is none other than the 44th President of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama.

MI: Good morning, Mr. President.

BO: Manhattan Infidel it’s good to see you again.

MI: Let’s talk about the past year. You are leaving the presidency – 

BO: Yes. But I would have won a third term if I ran.

MI:  Really?

BO: Yes. I am wildly popular. Americans love me. They love my internationalist policies.  Borders are racist.

MI: But isn’t the election of Donald Trump a repudiation of your policies?  The Republicans now control both houses of congress and most governorships and state legislatures. You have left the Democratic party in its weakest position since the late 1940s. How do you explain this.

BO: Americans are racist.

MI: But didn’t they vote for you two times?

BO: Is this a trick question?  Are you trying to trick me, Infidel with your alt-right conspiracy theories?

MI: No. I just want to point out the fact that Hillary Clinton, running on your legacy, lost to Donald Trump.

BO: That’s Hillary. She is an inferior candidate. I would  have beaten Trump.

[Hillary Clinton enters] 

On a hot summer night would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?

HC: On a hot summer night would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?

BO: I personally wouldn’t.  Depends. Would you Manhattan Infidel?

MI: I wouldn’t. Would you Hillary?

HC: Will he offer me his mouth?

BO, MI:  Yes.

HC:  Will he offer me his teeth?

BO, MI:Yes.

HC: Will he offer me his jaws?

BO, MI: Yes.

HC:  Will he offer me his hunger?

BO, MI: Yes.

HC: Again, will he offer me his hunger?

BO, MI: Yes.

HC: And will he starve without me?

BO, MI: Yes.

HC: And does he love me?

BO, MI: Yes.

HC: That’s all I needed to know.

[Hillary Clinton leaves]

MI: That was…….strange.

BO: She’s been doing that a lot since she lost the election.

[Bill Clinton enters]  

My wife is insane.

BC: Hey, have either of you seen Hillary?

BO, MI: She just left.

BC: Was she doing the hot summer night thing again?

BO, MI: Yes.

BC: Damn. I’ll have to up her meds.  See ya.

[Bill Clinton leaves]

BO: I have sympathy with Bill. I know what it’s like to live with a batshit insane woman. Oh crap here she comes.

[Barack Obama leaves. Michelle Obama enters] 

I want free stuff!

MO: Where’s my husband? He promised me I could take Air Force one to New York for a shopping spree!

MI: He just left. You still might be able to catch him.

MO: Thank you.

[Michelle Obama leaves]

MI:  Well I think I should wrap this up. Until next time.

And so ended my……um, whatever that was.

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