Manhattan Infidel Celebrates Seven Years: The Galaxy Quest Edition

By Grabthor's hammer!

By Grabthor’s hammer!

On February 20, 2009 a blog called Manhattan Infidel made its debut.

It was a dangerous time. George Bush had just spent eight years expanding government power, increasing our debt and getting into foreign wars.  Now it’s 2016. Barack Obama has just spent the past seven years expanding government power, increasing our debt and getting into foreign wars.

But enough about that.  It’s time to celebrate!  Continuing a tradition I started on my first anniversary this post will be movie themed.  This year it will be the classic 1999 movie Galaxy Quest.

LSP of  Texas and the blog Lone Star Parson writes, “Congratulations on seven years Manhattan Infidel. By Grabthar’s hammer, by the suns of Worvan, you shall be avenged!”

Thank you LSP for your promise to avenge me. The man who stole Olivia Wilde from me, Jason Sudeikis, must be punished!  And I know you are the man to do it.

PeterMC3 of New Jersey writes, “Never give up. Never surrender!”

That’s the same thing Chris Christie says on the buffet line.

Bob Agard of parts unknown and the blog Bob’s Blog writes, “You’ll forgive my impertinence, Sir, but even though we have never before met, I have always considered you as a father to me.”

Over the years I’ve grown accustomed to accolades such as this.  I thank you sir. But I’m not taking a paternity test.

A.P. of Poughkeepsie, New York writes, “There is no replacement Beryllium Sphere on board.”

That’s a smart move. The government weighs trucks and if you had a Beryllium Sphere on board you’d be pulled over and fined.

D.B. of Philadelphia writes, “I see you’ve managed to get your shirt off.”

Blogging requires athleticism. I keep in shape for the sake of my blog. And I like to take my shirt off.  For my fans you know.

M.B., formerly of Brooklyn, now of Los Angeles writes, “Stop sending me photos of your penis!  I’m a married woman!”

First off, what does this have to do with Galaxy Quest?  Second, those photos are very artistic.  If you can’t appreciate them then you don’t appreciate art! So stay in the cultural wasteland of L.A.! No more penis photos for you! Unless you ask me for some. As a blogger I’d be nothing without my readers. What do you mean you don’t read my blog? So why the hell am I sending you penis photos?

S.J., formerly of Manhattan now of Minneapolis, writes, “Hey guys, there’s a red-thingy moving toward the green-thingy. Red-thingy moving toward the green-thingy. I think we’re the green-thingy.”

I used to do a lot of LSD myself when I was going to Grateful Dead shows.  Just ride out the hallucinations and stay away from any open windows.

K.F. of Long Island writes, “Stop sending M.B. pictures of your penis!  She’s running out of space on her iPhone and she’ll have no room for my penis photos!”

Again. What the hell does this have to do with Galaxy Quest?

E.K. of Queens writes, “Sure, they’re cute now, but in a second they’re gonna get mean, and they’re gonna get ugly somehow, and there’s gonna be a million more of them..”

Interns. Yeah, I hate them too.

L.T. of Queens writes, “Did I just hear that the animal turned inside out, and then it EXPLODED? Hello?”

Are you talking about my crawl space? Because if you are the people who are up there are bad, bad people! Oh, you meant the turkey I was cooking. Um.

C.H.E. (no not the revolutionary) of Florida writes, “As long as there is injustice, whenever a Targathian baby cries out, wherever a distress signal sounds among the stars, we’ll be there. This fine ship, this fine crew.”

Hippie! Targathian baby lover!

O.B. of L.A.  and Compassionate Wolf Productions writes “Well, the Protector got super-accelerated coming out of the black hole, and it, like, nailed the atmosphere at Mach 15, which, you guys know, is pretty unstable, obviously, so we’re gonna help Laredo guide it on the the vox ultra-frequency carrier and use Roman candles for visual confirmation.”

I drive a Prius myself. For the environment. And it’s a chick magnet. So they tell me. Doesn’t seem to be working. I invited one girl into my Prius. She laughed and told me to leave her alone. Was it the Prius?  Or maybe it was because I wasn’t wearing pants?

And so it’s been seven years and 1,746 posts.

It’s hard to believe that I’ve lasted this long. How much longer can I last?  As long as their are celebrities and politicians behaving like celebrities and politicians I might be able to last another seven years.

So thanks everyone for reading this humble blog of mine. My psychiatrist said a blog would help with my anti-social tendencies. It sure has!  Why last year I left my apartment twice!

Thank you and here’s to the next seven years!


2 Responses

  1. petermc3 says:

    The best way to awaken your kundalini is through meditation. Jest sayin’ ya, dats what I hoid.

  2. LSP says:

    Yes. We will grind Sudeikis under the iron heels of the Bolshevik — NO! Under the stainless steel hooves of the Eurocom Rainbow Unic… NO!

    Sorry, I’m finding it hard to focus.

    You will be avenged. With guns. Possibly horses.

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