Galactic Empire Ends Use of Gold Standard

You shall not crucify the Galactic Empire upon a cross of gold!

You shall not crucify the Galactic Empire upon a cross of gold!

Jar Jar Blinks, newly appointed Finance Minister for the Galactic Empire announced today that they will be moving off the gold standard and adopting a fiat currency.

“This is the right thing to do” said Blinks.

Emperor Palpatine concurs. For too long we have been on the gold standard, and frankly, with the wars we are fighting on many fronts to defeat the rebels we need more money now than ever.  A fiat currency will accomplish this.

With the Death Star destroyed many economists agree that this is the only available option for the Empire.

“Sure many have a sentimental attachment to the gold standard” said one leading economist.

Indeed the gold standard is not without benefits. For one it helps keep inflation down. In peacetime the gold standard is a rock upon which economic growth is based. But we are at war now.  A brutal, expensive war.  By going to a fiat currency we will be able to print up enough money to build a second Death Star.

With an estimated expense of 900 trillion dollars, building a second Death Star would cripple economic growth under the old gold standard.

“We need a Death Star if the Empire is to survive” declared Palpatine at the press conference announcing the change.

We are fighting to the death against a ruthless enemy. These rebels do not value human life. How else do you explain their decision to destroy the Death Star?  How many citizens of the Empire died that day?  Not just fighters but innocents. The Death Star housed thousands of support staff.  Janitors, electricians, hairdressers, prostitutes. Hell, they even had their own I.T. department.  All dead at the hands of the ruthless rebel bastards and their Wookie allies. That’s why we need a second Death Star.  And we simply do not have enough gold reserves to build one. That’s what my economists say. They tell me a fiat currency will allow us to print more money to build the Star.

To help make the transition away from the gold standard easier Emperor Palpatine announced the creation of the Galactic Empire Federal Reserve System.

The Federal Reserve System will act as a lender of last resort and will house the fiat currency reserves in several locations throughout the Empire. The System will be totally transparent.  Except for the parts we need to keep secret. So there will be no audits of the Federal Reserve.  It’s what we have to do to survive.

Still not all favor abandoning the Gold Standard.

“It’s going to kill us” said one Empire resident.

Inflation will go through through the roof. The rich will get richer of course as they always seem to do. And the poor have Galactic welfare programs. But what about the middle class?  We keep getting squeezed and squeezed.

The reaction from the rebellion was swift.

“While a second Death Star is troublesome, all we have to do is watch the Empire rot economically from the inside. Victory shall be ours!” declared Princess Leia.


6 Responses

  1. petermc3 says:

    You nay sayers are all alike. How did you expect Nixon to pay the gov’t contractors who kept the Vietnam war going, huh?

    • Manhattan Infidel says:

      I still say the gold standard is the way to go. Vietnam? Oh sure you say that now, but what happens when the Vietcong destroy your Death Star?

  2. petermc3 says:

    I think I veiled my sarcasm too much. Bringing back the gold standard is the ONLY way to go. The good old days were when a single guy could live like a king on $7,000 a year.

  3. LSP says:

    That was helpful. The less gold we have the richer we’ll be. Hand in your guns, Infidel.

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