With the Fred Flintstone murder trial weeks away, the City of Bedrock is bitterly divided. What was once a simple murder trial has become a mirror into the attitudes of Bedrockians. And, it seems, there are two Bedrocks: One cro-magnon and one neanderthal.
Fred Flintstone is a neanderthal, born of a neanderthal family that had emigrated into Bedrock in search of work. Wilma Flintstone was born of a line of prominent cro-magnons. The two met in college where Wilma was studying law and Fred was attending on a football scholarship. The pair fell and love and over the objections of Wilma’s father got married.
The marriage of a neanderthal to a cro-magon, while not against the law, was frowned upon as breaking tradition and a threat to the social order. “Obviously there were concerns in Wilma’s family. But after seeing Fred on the football field she was smitten” says a family friend. Many feel that Flintstone was tolerated by the Slaghoople family only because of the potential millions Flintstone would make as a professional football player. “That’s always been the story. If we can make money the ‘Cros’ will tolerate us. If not we are shunned” according to a prominent Bedrock neanderthal community organizer. Any hope of millions however was dashed when Flintstone blew his knee out at a pro combine. Flintstone was reduced to working at the Slate Gravel Company in Bedrock.
It was then that the troubles began in the marriage. “Once Wilma realized she would not be the glamorous wife of a glamorous athlete the scales fell from her eyes” according to a reporter for the Bedrock Times who has been covering the murder. “She became dissatisfied with Fred’s position in life and his insatiable physical sexuality that left her worn out and aged past her years. Fred would come home from work and without even a greeting would take her into the bedroom and force himself on her. Neighbors grew concerned and often heard her moan ‘No Fred….No. Not now. I’m tired.’ “
Such claims are controversial downtown in the heart of the neanderthal community. “That’s a racist slur that works to the worst stereotype of neanderthal men. The ‘cros’ are always afraid that we are after their women. We have more important concerns, like getting jobs and social justice” said a neanderthal councilman. “They don’t know us and they fear us. How many cro-magnons come downtown to neanderthalville? How many neanderthals can afford to live uptown with the cro-magnons? Even if we could they wouldn’t want us up there. They only want to see us if we are their cooks or maids.”
Conversely, many in the Bedrock cro-magnon community have little sympathy for Wilma. “If you marry one of them, well, what do you expect?” said one Bedrockian. In Bedrock hospital where Wilma recovered from her bullet wounds she was shunned by the cro-magnon staff. Even the few neanderthals on the staff had unkind words for her. “She took away one of our men” declared a neanderthal maid.
It seems no matter what part of town one lives in, the Fred Flintstone murder trial evokes strong emotion.
(To be continued)
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