Extra Virgin Olive Oil Takes Purity Oath

Jars of extra virgin olive oil - not to be taken for granted any longerToday a jar of extra virgin olive oil, tired of being used and tossed aside by men took a purity oath as several other jars of olive oil looked on and cheered.

“I am tired of being taken for granted.  I am tired of men using me for my delicious flavor and then tossing me aside when they’ve had enough of me” said the jar.  “Does anyone stop to think of the many benefits of having me as a long-term commitment in their diet?  No!  I thought not.    I am brimming with monounsaturated fats and if you took the time to really know me you’d realize I help cut the risk of heart disease. But all you want from me is my flavor.  All you want is to pour me out and taste me.”

In the crowded italian restaurant where the jar of extra virgin olive oil decided to make her stand several men spoke off the record about their experiences with olive oil.  One man said that while he likes olive oil he just isn’t ready for the commitment and he is sure she understands.  Another man said “Yeah, I use her all the time.  I admit it.  I don’t care where she came from.  I don’t care where she’s going.  I just want her tonight.”  A third man told of purposely avoiding the use of olive oil because “lately she’s gotten a real chip on her shoulder. I know she’s had some bad experiences with men but don’t take it out on me.”

Carrying a sign that said “I am extra virgin olive oil hear me roar” the jar refused to serve herself at several tables, even after the men promised that this would not be a one time event, and that they would come back again.

“I’ve heard that before.  I stand before you pledged to not give myself away without written promises first.  I want to be in your life forever” she said over and over.

It was at this point that the men in the restaurant got up to leave with comments such as “She ain’t the only condiment around” and “crazy bitch” filling the air.

After the men left, the jar of olive oil and her fellow jars of olive oil pledged a boycott until they get recognition and respect.  From Madrid Spain the International Olive Oil Council released a statement once again promoting the many benefits of long-term olive oil usage as well as a sincere hope that the boycott would end soon.  The jar of olive oil was silent about her plans for the future though it is rumored she is going to appear on “The View”.


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