Robin hood announces his partnership deal

Robin Hood, famous as the outlaw of Sherwood Forest who robbed from the rich and gave to the poor announced today he is joining forces with Nike.

Standing next to Nike Chairman Philip Knight, Robin Hood announced an exclusive sponsorship deal that will extend into the 2020s.  With his arm draped around Robin Hood, Knight expressed pleasure to have the merry outlaw associated with his brand.

“Robin Hood and Nike, two brand names that deserve to be together.”

The specifics of the deal are believed to be that Robin Hood, in addition to appearing in Nike commercials will have to use the phrase “You’ve just been robbed by Robin of Da Hood” when taking peoples money.

When asked about this Knight said “We persuaded Robin to add ‘Da Hood’ to his name because we are going for a young, urban hip hop theme.  We believe this is the only way to capture that all-important 18-25 upper middle class white male suburban demographic.”

Among other changes:  Green tights are out.  Gold chains are in.

“Yeah, I kinda liked the green tights.  I’ve been wearing them for years.  But focus groups found that they made me look too French” Robin said.  “I don’t personally like the gold chains.  They hurt my back and impede my archery. But hey, I’m just a guy from Sherwood Forest.  If they tell me to ditch the tights and wear gold chains, I ditch the freaking tights and wear gold chains.”

If Robin appeared hesitant it was with good reason.  Rumor has it that he was an unwilling participant in the Nike deal.

“Robin faced reality.  He has defaulted on several loans and was in danger of having his assets frozen.  Nike zoomed in and bought him out. He will now be nothing more than a figure head in Hood Enterprises”  said business reporter Trish Brown.  “His downfall all goes back to that embarassing incident where he robbed a bus full of orphans.  No one believed Hood’s excuse that they looked like rich orphans. This caused his company’s shares to fall and he lost many key endorsements.”

However,  damaged as Robin Hood’s stock may be, he is still a recognizable brand name and it made sense for Nike to buy him.

Also hurting Hood were the defections of key personnel such as Friar Tuck, who left and married his boyfriend in a civil ceremony in Vermont and Maid Marion who took a leave of absence to appear on “The Bachelor.”  In addition there were Hood’s difficulties with the Sheriff of Nottingham.  As he has often complained, “The Sheriff of Nottingham always hated me.  For what?  I don’t know!  Every time I plant a seed he said ‘kill it before it grows.’ “

However, all is not bad news for Robin.  Upon announcing the merger, shares of his stock rose 25%.

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