Puff the Magic Dragon Arrested

Puff the magic dragon before his arrest

Puff the magic dragon before his arrest

Puff the Magic Dragon was arrested today by authorities after a 3-month investigation into his relationship  with Jackie Paper.  The investigation started at the request of Paper’s father, who was concerned that his son was neglecting his homework to “frolic in the autumn mist”.

“After a thorough investigation we have charged Mr. Dragon with 5 counts of child endangerment.  We have uncovered a pattern of acts that can only be characterized as ‘very disturbing’ ” announced Det. Mike McCartney of the Special Victims Task Force.

“Mr. Dragon would prey upon boys of between 10 and 12 years old.  He would entice them with bags of candy and  promise them trips on his boat and ‘frolicking’ in a world where they would never have to grow up.  Once on his boat he would have them ride upon his tail.  We also have evidence that on occasion he used sealing wax and other fancy stuff on the boys.”

“Because of Mr. Dragon’s celebrity we ask the judge to withhold bail as we believe him to be a flight risk.  We further ask the judge to order Mr. Dragon to turn over his passport from the land of Honah Lee.”

The arrest came shortly before 2 PM local time.  His head bent in sorrow with green scales falling like rain from his body Puff declared his innocence to gathered reporters.  “I’m innocent.  I would never hurt children.  I love children.  This is a nightmare.  I just want to slip back into my cave.”

Puff the Magic Dragon’s arrest has sent shock waves through the tight knit community, with parents wondering how many more victims there are; though one parent said “I should have known.  His MySpace handle was ‘Frolics with Boys. ‘ “

Mr. Dragon’s lawyer in a press conference stated that the charges are false and he looks forward to his client’s full exoneration and an apology from the DA’s office.

Psychologists are urging  parents to talk openly with their children about today’s arrest.  “It’s important that children know that there are bad people in the world but that their parents will always love them and protect them.  And if that doesn’t work, just sedate the sons of bitches” said Dr. Ziegfried Von Halen of the State Department of Health.


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