After months of civil unrest and a series of stinging military defeats at the hands of the elf and reindeer resistance, Santa Claus has been forced to abdicate. Standing by a helicopter that would take him into exile Santa addressed those still loyal to him. “My fellow North Poleans” began the […]

          With the North Pole disintegrating into civil war, the United Nations voted unanimously (Iran and Ireland abstaining) to send peacekeeping troops to the war-torn country. The expected move was not without controversy. “We don’t want them here” said Santa, who has been waging an increasingly bitter war to keep the […]

                    With rioting continuing in the North Pole, Santa has asked for troops to restore order to his beleaguered workshop. The rioting, which started in protest over Santa’s new “carbon emissions” tax has spread into a protest over the entire state of the North Pole, with many […]

            Christmas could be a major disappointment this year for boys and girls around the world after Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, who used his signature proboscis to guide Santa through rough weather, announced his conversion to Islam. “I only follow The Prophet now” said Rudolph. Christmas is a holiday of […]

              With Christmas eight days away it is my pleasure to snag an interview with the man of the hour. None other than Old St. Nick, Kris Kringle, Santa Claus himself. MI: Good afternoon Santa Claus. It’s a pleasure to meet you. SC: Are you sure?  You’re on my naughty list. […]

                    With the news that Kevin Hart was out as host of the Oscars less than a week after being named the search is on for a new host of this year’s Academy Awards. Using my contacts in show business grifters and whores I have come […]

            Well-known anthropomorphic snowman Frosty has seen his popularity plummet after being accused of gender- and trans-phobia. “I don’t know what to say” said a chastened Frosty. I don’t know what they are talking about! I love children and would never harm nor confuse them in any way.  I just […]

            International singing sensation The Seven Dwarfs have announced that they are breaking up. The group, who shot to fame with their smash hit “Heigh Ho” about the dreary life of working in a mine have said in a statement that “Personal, business and musical” differences have led to this decision […]

                    Former Actress Rose McGowan took to the airwaves to complain about the treatment her androgynous gender-fluid z/she partner Rain Dove was accorded in a public bathroom. “This is ridiculous” said the once hot and in-demand actress though I know I should not use the term […]

            The reboot of Murphy Brown, the long-running and deeply unfunny sitcom from 30 years ago has been cancelled after only 13 episodes it has been revealed. “Sadly our show has been cancelled” said one of the show’s producers. I guess Americans were just too stupid to understand the witty […]