Frosty the Snowman Accused of Transphobia!

Frost is an alt-right white nationalist







Well-known anthropomorphic snowman Frosty has seen his popularity plummet after being accused of gender- and trans-phobia.

“I don’t know what to say” said a chastened Frosty.

I don’t know what they are talking about! I love children and would never harm nor confuse them in any way.  I just wanted some company on my trip to the North Pole. That’s why I brought along the little girl Karen. I even asked permission. I knocked on the door to her mother’s house and said “Hi. I’m Frosty the Snowman. I’m going to the North Pole. May I take your disturbingly sexy little girl 

How dare you assume this child’s gender!










along with me?”  I asked permission for God’s sake. I thought everything was cool between her mother and I. But then I find her attacking me on Twitter. Not cool, man. Not cool at all.

Unbeknownst to Frosty, as he was travelling to the North Pole with the disturbingly sexy little girl Karen, her mother had launched an all-out social justice warrior assault against him.

“It’s not often an anthropomorphic snow man knocks on my door” said the mother.

I am a tolerant person so I didn’t scream and call the police. I respected our difference of species. I am not species-ist. I did notice he was naked and had no genitalia. But so did my third husband. So what? But when he asked if my little girl could go with him? Hello? Little girl? How dare he assume my child’s gender! I have raised my child to be gender neutral. Just because it prefers to identify as a girl at this stage in its life does not mean it is female!

The outraged mother took to social media to vent her anger and righteousness. Soon even the cable news outlets took up the subject to castigate Frosty for his backwardness.

“You have to wonder about the cultural level of this snowman” said CNN anchor Don Lemon.

In the 21st century for someone to assume anyone’s gender is problematic to say the least. Could he have possibly assumed the disturbingly sexy child’s gender because he is binary and heterosexual?

Over at MSNBC, Al Sharpton blamed the racism that is inherent in American society.

“Frosty is typical of white snowmen” said the spiritual and temporal leader of the black race in America.

By their actions you will know them. Frosty has proven that white snowmen cannot be trusted. He may be wearing a stovepipe hat but I bet underneath he has a Make America Great Again hat. What else do you expect from Donald Trump’s America?


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Frosty the alt-white nationalist snowman has died. Sources say he met his death in a greenhouse.

The alt-right white nationalist snowman after his death









“Frosty knew the greenhouse temperature would kill him” said the disturbingly sexy child Karen.

“But he did it to keep me warm. That was just the type of selfless snowman he was. Though I really shouldn’t call him a snowman.  That is just assuming his gender. And that is wrong.”


2 Responses

  1. LSP says:

    The curiously named Al Sharpton is a Reverend, oddly. But then again, so is Cupich.

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