Tragedy struck today as Santa, out on a test run for Christmas, collided with a flock of Canadian geese over upstate New York. Santa, his sleigh and the reindeer were last seen plummeting to the Earth in a ball of fire. “This is a sad day for us all […]

              The Island of Misfit Toys, home to toys unwanted by little boys and girls, has been purchased by the Navy. “This is a good purchase for us” said Secretary of the Navy Richard Spencer. The island is strategically located and the Navy needs a place for target practice. Puerto […]

                Frosty the Snowman, beloved anthropomorphic talking pile of snow with a corn cob pipe, button nose and two eyes made out of coal, announced today that he self-identifies as gender fluid and wishes to be known as “Frosty the Snow Z/She.” “This is a difficult and complex […]

                Heavily-armed SWAT teams from the Whoville police department today shot and killed the Grinch after receiving multiple calls about home invasions on Christmas Eve. “We took the perp out with extreme prejudice” said the SWAT commander. The problem began when calls started coming into police headquarters about […]

              With Christmas just around the corner the possibility of labor peace fades as both sides admit negotiations are at a standstill. “The fat jolly bastard is killing us” admits the elf foreman (pictured here). All the elves want is an agreement that is fair to both sides. No […]

            Reputed “vile gangster” Jabba the Hutt faces fresh scrutiny after being accused by Princess Leia of “unwanted contact of a sexual nature.” This is not the first time Hutt has come under surveillance from the Empire’s security forces as he is rumored to be one of the most powerful […]

                    French skunk Pepe Le Pew, long noted for his amorous intentions towards the weaker sex, has been accused by several females of aggressive conduct of a sexual nature and “creating an unsafe, toxic environment.” One cat’s story is typical. “He saw me on the street […]

                  After a thorough investigation by Special Counsel Robert Mueller, Yosemite Sam was charged today with lying to the FBI. “We asked him point blank if he hated rabbits” said a member of the Special Counsel. We know he hates rabbits. He won’t admit to it because […]

            Obi-Wan Kenobi, aka “Ben” Kenobi, hermit from Tatooine has been outed as the person responsible for the destruction of the Empire’s Death Star along with everyone on board. “I’m just a moisture farmer” said Kenobi’s platonic male companion, the much younger and blonder Luke Skywalker. What do I know […]

            After a thorough investigation ABC has fired Good Morning America host George Stephanopolous because of concern over his future sexual activity. “We were concerned that George, being a powerful white man, could embarrass us” said a producer for Good Morning America. We watched CBS and NBC suffer embarrassment because […]