Pepe Le Pew Accused of Inappropriate Sexual Behavior!

I am ze locksmith of suck it baby











French skunk Pepe Le Pew, long noted for his amorous intentions towards the weaker sex, has been accused by several females of aggressive conduct of a sexual nature and “creating an unsafe, toxic environment.”

One cat’s story is typical.

“He saw me on the street and wouldn’t leave me alone” she said.

He kept following me, trying to embrace me. I kept telling him I just wasn’t interested but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. At one point he grabbed me and tried to stick his tongue down my throat. “We shall make ze beautiful music together, no?” he said while slobbering all over me. Beautiful music together? I think not. My boyfriend is Muslim and wanted to behead him but I said just let it go. I still feel traumatized.

Another cat tells of a disturbing hotel encounter involving Mr. Le Pew.

I’m a very sexy cat if I may say so myself. I work the shows. That’s where I met Pepe. He told me he had contacts in Hollywood that would help my career and if I would come over to his hotel room later to talk about it. Sure why not? Hollywood! So I went to his room and he opened it wearing just a bathrobe that was open. I could see his malodorous skunk junk. Then he starts to rub up against me. “Just be cool and do what I say” he says. “Or you won’t meet George Clooney.” I tried to pull away and ran into the hall. He followed me and said “Come back inside baby. Don’t stand here in the hallway like this. You’re embarrassing me.” He tried to pull me back inside his room. I ran out of the hotel. To this day I don’t feel safe anymore. I’ve stopped being a runway model cat and do nothing but stay at home eating ice cream. It’s all Pepe’s fault!

Despite these allegations Pepe maintains that every encounter is consensual.

I am ze locksmith of love. All ze ladies love to have me. I am a very loving skunk and just want to make ze ladies feel important. I just want to give love to all the ladies I meet. 

He also blamed the misunderstanding on cultural differences between France and the United States.

You Americans are so puritanical and are afraid of sex. In Paris we think nothing of grabbing women in the street and sticking our tongues down their throats. Unless they’re Muslim of course. Those people are crazy!  But here in America it’s a big deal. In France I am known as ze locksmith of unwanted oral penetration. I guess you Americans are just not as sophisticated as we are in Europe. 

Pending the completion of any police investigation into Pepe’s actions his passport has been confiscated.

“I should have stayed in France. Sure I might have been run over or blown up by Muslims but at least I’d get some action first.”


2 Responses

  1. LSP says:

    Pepe is an abuser, a “skunk.” Unlike Matt Lauer.

    And Chelsea Handler.

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