Not all is bad news for the city of Charlotte, North Carolina.  Stung by race riots Charlotte mayor Jennifer Roberts (pictured above) addressed her city, and by extension the country and the world, with a historic and compassionate speech that showed the best qualities of America. My fellow citizens of Charlotte: The past couple days […]

Top U.S. generals have confirmed that ISIS, or ISIL, or “those advocates of the Religion of Peace.” have launched a mustard attack on our troops in Iraq. “Nothing is more horrible than mustard in war” said General Joseph Dunford, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Unless it’s some of the stuff that passes for crackers. […]

Khan Noonien Singh, fugitive from Earth’s eugenics war of the 1990s has been captured after setting off a bomb in Manhattan that injured 29 people. “It’s been a tense couple of days” said New York City mayor Warren Wilhelm Jr. (stage name Bill de Blasio). But we got him. Never again will New York City […]

Tommy, a five year old student in Mrs. Louise Kaplan’s kindergarten class, has been suspended from school for refusing to participate in the mandatory nap time. “All the children had their heads on the desk and were prepared to nap but not Tommy” she said. Instead he looked at me and said, “Tommy ain’t gonna […]

The New York City Administration for Children’s Services has begun an investigation into once twice three times disgraced former congressman and newly-single man Anthony Weiner after it was revealed that he was involved in yet another sexting scandal, this time with his child in his bed. “Yeah, the are investigating me” said the downfallen former congressman […]

Here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ we have interviewed many important people over the years but today is a our first interview with a convicted murderer serving a life sentence. Ladies and gentlemen I give you Charles Manson. MI: Good afternoon Mr. Manson. CM: I’ll cut you and smear your blood on the wall! MI: What? […]

A Greek statue, tired of jokes being made about his penis, has decided to wear boxer shorts from now on. “I mean look at me” said the distraught statue. It’s bad enough I have no chest hair but what about down there you know? My thumb is bigger! I kept telling the sculptor that’s now […]

Elmer J. Fudd, known around town for his scrupulous observance of the law and his love of hunting was in a quandary:  Was it duck season or rabbit season? “I wasn’t too sure” he told reporters. They overlap sometimes and to tell the truth, I’ve been so busy with work I forgot to look at […]

After losing in Rio and calling the Swedes “a bunch of cowards” a clearly upset Hope Solo vowed to “burn the motherf*king world to the ground.” Immediately after losing in the quarterfinals Solo told a reporter that the “best team did not win today.”  She then grabbed the reporter and bit into his neck, severing […]

As the entire civilized world (which obviously excludes Detroit) now know, the Democratic mayor of Fairfax Virginia was arrested after trying to use meth to arrange a threesome. And how do I know he’s a Democrat?  Certainly not from relying on the news stories from the MSM, which conveniently omitted this fact.  (To protect and […]