Browsing the archives for the General insanity category
Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the starship Enterprise was named Star Fleet’s most boring officer beating out fellow shipmates Lieutenant Commander Geordi La Forge and Lieutenant Worf (son of Mogh.) “It was a tight race” said one of the judges. While all three are stunningly boring we found La Forge’s lack of success with the ladies, even […]
Christine Chapel, a nurse on board the Federation starship Enterprise has been suspended indefinitely by Star Fleet after complaints that she was engaging in “inappropriate” behavior towards a superior officer. “We have reviewed the complaints lodged by Commander Spock and we deem them credible” said Star Fleet’s director of Climate and Sexual Justice. We at […]
It’s been awhile since the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel had a horoscope.There are many reasons for this. But since I am drinking again I feel it’s time for the next horoscope. And seeing that protests against the President are once again fashionable I give you: The Protest Edition horoscope. Aquarius (January 20 – February […]
Show business can be cruel and heartless even for the very lucky. But those those who aren’t lucky it can be extremely devastating. With that in mind today I interview Jeremy Gelbwaks, the first drummer for the Partridge family and learn his tragic story. MI: Good afternoon Jeremy. How are you? JG: You told me over the phone […]
The mayor of Honahlee called an emergency session of the town board after an influx of hippies disrupted the community. “We’re a small village not used to outsiders” said the mayor. But since that song came out about Puff the Magic Dragon, everyone thinks were some sort of goddamn Woodstock. I can’t take it any […]
Being a blogger is a rewarding life: money, fame, women, Saturday nights cleaning the grout on the bathroom tiles. But being a blogger is also expensive: travel, wardrobe, private yachts new grout for my bathroom tiles. Because of this I am announcing my first annual pledge drive, where my loyal readers reader promise to give […]
December 31st is traditionally the day that hundreds of thousands gather in Times Square to watch the ball drop. Not this year however. “It just wouldn’t be appropriate” said New York City mayor Warren Wilhelm, Jr. (stage name Bill de Blasio, pictured here). We are still mourning the loss by Hillary Clinton. She should be […]
Santa’s workforce of elves walked off the job today, threatening the timely delivery of millions of toys around the globe. “We want a livable wage” said a leader of the walkout. For too long we have had to suffer at the hands of Santa and his wage deprivation. We have families to support. Nine dollars […]
Dateline, California, December 2018 Official statement of Governor Jerry Brown on the results of California’s plebiscite to secede from the United States. My fellow citizens of the newly-independent Republic of California. Mis conciudadanos de la recién independizada República de California Since the election of Donald Trump two years ago our state has been in crisis. […]
A local man has been arrested and charged with cultural appropriation after trying to start a sing-a-long of Feliz Navidad at his office holiday party. Sources report that the man, a low-level employee at his company, shocked his fellow employees with his aborted sing-a-long attempt to the point that several had to seek refuge in […]