17 Jul 12

Manhattan Infidel Presents Your Updated Kennedy Malfeasance Template!

Laws do not apply to American royalty

The world was shocked yawned, not surprised, couldn’t give a shit when Kerry Kennedy, daughter of Robert Kennedy was arrested on Saturday for driving under the influence of drugs in Westchester County, New York.

I first wrote about the Kennedy Malfeasance Template (which I am in the process of copyrighting) in a February post:

Kennedy Arrested

I was scoffed at.  “Manhattan Infidel” they would say.  “Surely this is a one time event?  You don’t actually think you’ll have to use it again?”

Scoffers!  Who’s crying now?  (Besides Kerry Kennedy?)  I now present my revised, expanded and ever up-to-date Kennedy Malfeasance Template:

Breaking news:  A Kennedy (no reason to beat around the bush) has been arrested for

  1. Leaving the scene of an accident
  2. Driving while intoxicated
  3. Driving while under the influence of drugs
  4. Digging up your brother’s ex-wife’s body and burying it elsewhere
  5. Murder
  6. Possession
  7. Mafia associations
  8. All of the above
  9. Most of the above
  10. The above list only contains the crimes we know about.  Hell it’s a Kennedy.  Who knows what else there is?

According to

  1. Local police
  2. State police
  3. Everyone else driving on the highway with her
  4. Everyone else driving on the highway with her and the visual evidence on their iPhones, iPods, smartphones etc.
  5. Satellites in orbit
  6. Common sense (this is a Kennedy)

Through her actions Kennedy endangered

  1. The person whose car she smashed into
  2. Everyone else driving on the road at that time
  3. Innocent bystanders
  4. Those within a five -mile radius
  5. Those within a 15-mile radius
  6. Anyone still alive
  7. The dead who haven’t been dug up and re-interred yet.

Kennedy’s lawyer’s are claiming total innocence on the following grounds:

  1. She’s a Kennedy
  2. She’s American royalty (see no. 1)
  3. Cut her some slack.  He father was assassinated!
  4. Hello?  Camelot!  Duh!
  5. She’s a human right’s activist!
  6. Don’t let it be forgot that once there was a spot for one brief shining moment that was known as Camelot
  7. You do remember Camelot don’t you?  Or are you one of those teabaggers?

Kennedy has

  1. Declared her innocence
  2. Declared her innocence in no uncertain terms
  3. Declared her innocence on constitutional grounds (She’s a Kennedy for Christ’s sake!  Don’t you remember Camelot?)
  4. Declared her innocence because she’s a human rights activist
  5. Don’t let it be forgot that once there was a spot for one brief shining moment that was known as Camelot
  6. Declared her innocence due to emotional distress (you try digging up your ex sister-in-law’s body and re-interring it someplace else where her family won’t find it)
  7. Declared her innocence due to extreme emotional distress (her father was assassinated ensuring that the teabaggers would be successful in their attempts to kill Camelot)

The Mainstream Media will

  1. Cut her slack.  She’s American royalty after all
  2. Play down the charges (Don’t we all drive while under the influence?)
  3. Talk about how Laura Bush killed a man while driving.  She’s not even American Royalty or a member of Camelot.
  4. Come to her defense (Cut her some slack will you?  Her father was assassinated)
  5. Look for evidence that teabaggers drive while under the influence
  6. Try their best not to report on the charges

And there you have it readers.  My updated and ever relevant Kennedy Malfeasance Template (soon to be copyrighted by yours truly.)

(678)

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16 Jul 12

Man Regrets Buying Shōbijin at Garage Sale

mothras-fairies.jpg

Local resident Bob Walker, 43, regrets his decision to buy two shōbijin (literally “small beauties“) at a garage sale.

I was originally going to buy his set of Monkees vinyl albums when I noticed this straw lunchbox like thing.  I asked what it was and he said he had a pair of shōbijin in it that he bought on Craigslist. I took a look inside and there were these two very small Japanese girls.  So I immediately bought them.  He seemed very happy to get rid of them.  I should have been suspicious of that.

Upon bringing his shōbijin home Mr. Walker found out why the previous owner was so eager to get rid of them.

The first thing they started to do was sing.  They kept singing the same song over and over and over again until the damn thing was stuck in my head.  I asked what it was.  They said it was the song they sing to summon Mothra.  Well before I even had a chance to ask what the hell a Mothra was I look outside my window and, Jesus Christ, there is this giant…..well I don’t know what the hell it was.  Some sort of moth or butterfly. Mothra rides for $20 dollars. Ride Mothra will you have the chance. So the damn thing lands on my front lawn.  It scared the crap out of me at first but the Shōbijin assured me that Mothra just wanted to help humanity.  So I figure there’s money in this Mothra.  I started charging the local kids 20 dollars to ride on his back.  I made a little money but that didn’t offset the costs of all the giant crap from this giant bug.  I had to hire some industrial cleaners to get rid of it.  And god did all that bug shit really stink.

Mr. Walker’s problems did not end with waste removal.

I couldn’t get the damn Japanese midgets to stop singing to Mothra.  So he kept showing up all hours of the day and night. I was asleep once and woke up and looked out my bedroom window and there was the damn peeping tom butterfly looking in the window at me.  That freaked me out.  So I put my foot down and told them to stop singing.  But by then it was too late because they had already uploaded the song on iTunes and my damn kids, who thought it was catchy, downloaded it and kept playing it.

Walker was also distressed by the Mothra larvae.

One day the midgets summoned Mothra and this larvae arrived. Slimy, slow moving and very destructive

Slow-moving and very very slimy.  He blocked the highway, slithered through power lines, pretty much destroyed the goddamn town and settled in my yard.  Slime and all.  He rests on top of my car so I call my boss and say “Hey, I can’t come to work there’s a giant larvae all over my car” and he says “Serves you right for buying a Chevy.”  I don’t know what to do.  If I miss any more days at work I’ll be fired.

At the end of his rope, Walker considered burning his house down for the insurance money.

I figured if I burned everything Mothra, larvae and all would go away.  But my lawyer said I would probably go to jail so I nixed that idea. So now I’m back to my original money-making idea.  I signed the midgets up for “America’s Got Talent.”  I’m their agent now.

When asked if he had advice to anyone who might be tempted to buy Shōbijin he said, “Yeah, don’t do it. Unless you like giant slimy creepy things.”

The Shōbijin will be making their America’s Got Talent debut in September.

(436)

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13 Jul 12

The Higgs Boson: What it Means for Us

 The Higgs Boson: Still cooler than Enrique Iglesias

Like everyone with an insatiable curiosity for Olivia Wilde science I have been following the news from CERN that they have may have discovered the allusive “God” particle known as the Higgs Boson during a high-energy particle accelerator experiment.  Like all of you I had many questions.  What is a Higgs Boson?  What does this discovery mean for the world of science?  Does it prove the Big Bang theory? What happened to my pants? Why did the gypsy say I was cursed? Whose blood is this? Whose finger is that?

Wanting to give my readers only the facts I immediately called respected physicist Stephen Hawking to ask him about Higgs Boson.  We talked for an hour about the discovery and what it meant for science.

Unfortunately I lost the extensive notes I took during the conversation the hooker stole my pants which had the notes so I will have to proceed from memory.  What follows is, to the best of my recollection, my conversation with Professor Hawking.  Again, I am recreating our conversation only from memory.  But I believe it is essentially accurate.

MI:  Good afternoon Professor Hawking.  The announcement of the possible discovery of the Higgs Boson must be exciting for you.

SH:  Definitely.  Definitely.  It’s a tremendous achievement that will go a long way towards furthering our understanding of the universe.

MI:  Do you like hookers?

SH: Who doesn’t?  Great sex and no messy emotional attachments.

MI:  What about Asian hookers?

SH:  My favorite of course.  I order them in two and threes usually.

MI:  How do you feel about transsexuals?

SH:  Take a walk on the wild side baby.

MI:  Ever kill a man?

SH:  When you’re a powerful man like I am you make enemies.  And enemies must be crushed.

MI:  Do you keep mementos of your victims?  Say a head in the refrigerator perhaps?

SH:  Right next to the beer.

MI:  Have you seen my pants?

SH:  Hooker steal them again?

MI:  Yes.

SH: That’s what a zipper is for son.  No need to take your pants off.  Just unzip and do you business.

MI:  I’ll remember that next time.  Anything else you’d like to tell my readers?

SH:  I was on the grassy knoll.  I shot JFK.

MI:  Okay.

SH:  I murdered OJ’s wife.  Sliced her throat back to the spinal cord I did. Bitch was stepping out on me.

MI: Any last things we should know about you?

SH:  My business is narcotics.  I have fields in Turkey, where they grow the poppy.  In Sicily I have a plant to process it into heroin.  I need cash and I need protection from the police. A powerful man with connections like you Manhattan Infidel can make this happen.  In return you get a piece of the action.

MI:  And what about the Tattaglia family?

SH: You let me worry about the Tattaglia’s.  I don’t like violence, Manhattan Infidel.  I’m a businessman.  Blood is a big expense.

MI:  You have a deal.  Oh, and the Higgs Boson?

SH:  It’s a great achievement.  A great day for science.

And that, to the best of my recollection, is my conversation with the brilliant physicist Stephen Hawking.

(409)

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12 Jul 12

An Important Message from President Obama

Help me help America. Where will my next fundraiser be held?

Good afternoon my fellow Americans.

As many of you are no doubt aware I am in a fight to win reelection.  My opponent, Mitt Romney, has access to virtually unlimited resources and ill-begotten money.  This money he has no doubt been hiding away in off-shore bank accounts since his days as a corporate raider at Bain Capital.

I need to raise cash to fight his rich man’s propaganda.  And that’s why I am asking you, the American people to choose who will host my next fundraiser.

My last fundraiser held by the girl from Sex in the City – you know the one who looks like a horse – was very successful.  Anna Wintour was there as well.  I had a great time talking to her.  Though originally she mistook me for a butler and asked me to freshen her drink.

When I told her that she was mistaken and that I was President Obama she apologized and said, “I should have known.  You’re so clean cut and articulate.”  After that we had a fine time talking about the concerns of the common person such as which summer residence in the Hamptons to rent out and are helicopters tax deductible?

There was one embarrassing moment when I turned away from her and she screamed at me to never do that again.  But you know fashion people.  And then she asked me to freshen her drink. And I told her I was President Obama again. And that’s when she slapped me.  But I suppose she was just angered by the thought of a Republican victory in November.  And then she asked me to freshen her drink again.

But anyway that’s not what I want to talk about.  I’m here to ask you, the American people, to help me choose where my next fundraiser will be held.  And for only $40,000 a plate you can join me!

My staff originally wanted to hold a fundraiser at Phil Spector’s residence.  But I understand that he is busy for the next 19 years to life.

The next choice was Roman Polanski.  I felt this would be perfect. He is popular in the show business community and no doubt can help defeat the Republicans and their war on women.

But again, my choice is not what matters.  It’s you, the American people who will decide which Hollywood superstar will hold my next fundraiser.

All you have to do is log onto the White House’s official website and click on the “Defeat the racist Republicans” tab.  Then write in the name of the person you want my fundraiser to be held at.

I just hope that Anna Wintour women isn’t there. After the last fundraiser she made me drive her home.  I kept telling her I was President Obama but she told me not to speak to her unless spoken to.  And then she had me freshen her drink.

President Barack Obama

Washington, D.C.

(414)

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11 Jul 12

Manhattan Infidel to Impose a Tax

I am going to tax your ass off!Fast on the heels of the Supreme Court’s historic decision to uphold Obamacare, I, the Manhattan Infidel, have decided to levy a tax on all Americans who do not visit my blog and hit up my tip jar.

Accordingly, starting on Thursday July 12, 2012, all those who do not visit my blog will be taxed 55% of your base earnings.  I do this because I care about America it will make me richer.  This tax, or penalty, or as I like to call it “Tenalty” will be applied towards making America a better, healthier place I want your money.

Some of you may questions, such as:

  1. Is this legal?
  2. Does the Constitution allow it?
  3. Are you sure you’re 18?
  4. Just touch it; and
  5. Crap it’s the cops.  Run!

Rest assured.  My plan to tax you for not visiting my blog is totally legal and falls within both the commerce and taxing powers of congress.  But don’t take my word for it. I asked Chief Justice John Roberts (pictured here) We have vays of imposing taxes if I could impose a tax. This is what he said:

Ya.  Legal.  Very legal.  Ve have vays of imposing taxes!

Again, you may have follow-up questions such as:

  1. How will you enforce this tax?
  2. Since when it is a crime to pull my pants down in an alleyway?
  3. She said she was 18 and if we can’t trust people to tell the truth then society is doomed
  4. She said she had a penis but that’s she’s a tranny and she can be all women if I want; and
  5. He said he had a penis and that I’d have to pay the penis tax, or penalty.

I have a fool-proof plan to enforce this tax for the benefit of America your money belongs to me.  It’s quite simple and ingenious really.  Utilizing voting registration and DMV records I will have Gallagher I will smash watermelons in front of you until you pay the tax! drop by your place of residence and smash watermelons in front of you until you break down and agree to pay my tax.

While I find the idea of taxing a free peoples painful give me your money serfs!  this is necessary.

I ask all readers to voluntarily and cheerfully pay this tax.  Do it for America.  Do it for me.  Do it for Gallagher.  Please people.  Let’s not give him another heart attack!

Note:  The following announcement has been sponsored by the “Your Money Belongs to Me, the Manhattan Infidel Foundation.”

Note:  The Your Money Belongs to Me, The Manhattan Infidel Foundation is a tax-exempt limited liability Delaware corporation.

Note:  Any questions on your tax-liability to me, the Manhattan Infidel, will be answered as soon as I can set up my wireless router here at my tax-dodge, luxury home, modest office in the Barbados.

Note:  She said she was eighteen!

(403)

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10 Jul 12

Taliban Execute Fozzie Bear!

Wocka wocka what the fuck?

Tragic news out of Afghanistan.  Fozzie Bear, well-known comic and best friend of show biz entrepreneur Kermit the Frog was executed by the Taliban while on a good-will tour of the country.

Mr. Bear was captured while doing a stand-up performance in the Shinwari district of Parwan Province, in central Afghanistan, less than a two-hour drive from Kabul.  Sources report that he had just uttered his trademark “Wocka Wocka” line when several masked Taliban fighters climbed up on stage and grabbed him.  Bear was heard to say, “Are you guys with the USO?  Is this about my fee?” as he was rushed off stage.

Fozzie Bear was not seen again until the Taliban released a video of his execution.

Wearing an orange prison jumpsuit Bear was surrounded by masked and armed Taliban fighters, one of whom was reading a statement that read:

In the name of the prophet Allah and all that is holy we now take the life of this infidel.  Killing a bear who is a comedian is Allah’s holy will. It is the order of God and now we carry out the punishment.

Mr. Bear then looked into the camera and said

I don’t think they are with the USO.  But then again they haven’t paid me so maybe they are?  And they can’t speak English so they might be from New Jersey.  Wocka Wocka!

It was when Mr. Bear uttered “Wocka Wocka” that the Taliban grabbed him and forced him to ground.  One fighter held his neck while another proceeded to slice his head off.

Mr. Bear was apparently unawares until the very end what fate awaited him.  His last words as the steel sliced through his flesh was, “Wocka Wocka…..what the fuck? Was it my jokes?  You guys are tougher than Statler and Waldorf.” You suck!

Bear’s bloodied and severed head, mouth agape and still wearing his trademark pork pie hat was then help up and shown to the camera while one fighter said “Praise be to Allah!  The talking bear infidel is dead!”

News of Bear’s execution rocked the Muppet community.  From his office in Burbank where he was putting the finishing touches on an all-muppet anti-war movie based on the life of physicist Robert Oppenheimer called “The Muppets take  E = mc2″ a clearly distraught Kermit the Frog told reporters:

Fozzie was my best friend.  I warned him not to go to Afghanistan.  Bush’s illegal war of aggression has destabilized that peace-loving country.  But all he wanted to do was make people laugh.  And he paid with his life.  Well we know who to blame – George Bush!

The response from the bear community was swift.  Smokey the Bear was quoted as saying:

A bear has been killed by the man!  My racial memories cry out for justice!  He was one of us!  Though I personally found him to be a jerk and didn’t think his jokes were funny, that’s not the point.  And I never saw him at any Bear social justice meetings.  But that’s not the point either.  No justice no peace!

There has been no word on whether Mr. Bear’s body will be able to be recovered.

(697)

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9 Jul 12

Dodge City Marshall Arrested for Running Prostitution Ring

 Marshall Matt Dillion’s career is in ruins

Federal Marshall Matt Dillon of Dodge City, Kansas has been arrested after a year-long investigation of “improprieties.”

“For 20 years he and his lover Miss Kitty Marshall Dillon and Miss Kitty were running a bordello.  How it was able to go on this long I don’t know” said one of the FBI agents involved in the investigation.

Though personally very popular in town, residents had begun to complain that Dillon’s job as a Marshall had begun to take a back seat to his extra-curricular money-making activities.

Said one person in Dodge:

We had an Indian uprising a few weeks back.  They came into town hoopin’ and a hollerin’ and rapin’ and pillagin’.  I ran to the Long Branch Saloon because I knew that’s where Marshall Dillon would be. I knocked on Miss Kitty’s door and said, “Marshall Dillon there’s Indians afoot!”  He wouldn’t even open the door.  You know what he said?  “Don’t interrupt me.  I’m about to give Miss Kitty an Irish Perm.”  Now I don’t even know what an Irish Perm is and I don’t want to know.  So we had to start fighting the Indians ourselves.

The Indian attacks were put down only after the many town casualties started costing the Long Branch Saloon business.

“People can’t go whoring when they’re dead” said Dillon.

Most of the townspeople were tolerant of Marshal Dillon’s money-making schemes.

We were all sympathetic to an extent.  We knew he made a civil servant’s salary and that’s not much so if he wanted to make a little on the side so be it.  But it was annoying every time I went into the Long Branch for a drink he’d try to get me to smoke.  “Come on“ he’d say.  “I own 50 percent of the company.  It’s a smooth, menthol smoke. Make Marshall Dillon happy and buy a carton Buy a carton and  make me happy.  I’ll look the other way when you step out on the missus.”  Now I bought a pack because he was my friend but still I didn’t like the implied threat.  I mean, after all the times I looked the other way about the prostitution?

As Dillon’s tenure in Dodge City progressed he became less and less tolerant of those who would not help his money-making schemes.  Said a resident:

I told hm I had moral objections to he and Miss Kitty running a prostitution ring right on main street!  In front of children no less!  So what does he do?  He sends over his deputy Chester Goode Your groin and my unbending leg are gonna have a meeting to beat me up.  Now I like Chester but he had this thing with his leg where he couldn’t bend it.  Ever been kicked in the groin by a man who can’t bend his knee?  It ‘taint pleasant. There’s a lot of rage in that kick.

But the final straw that turned the townspeople against their Marshall may have been  his immigration policy.

Look we have had all types move here.  Ex slaves.  The Chinese.  We even had one goofy looking idiot who said he was from Vulcan. I am from New Jersey

I don’t know where that is.  New Jersey I think.  But when the Marshall started letting the Irish move into town we had to act!

The fed-up townspeople, disturbed by the Irish horde and acting in their best interests, informed on Marshall Dillon to the FBI, leading to his arrest.

Marshall Dillon is currently in custody under suicide watch.

“He feels betrayed by the citizens” said his lawyer. “After all he did for them?”

In a related note the Irish have been banned from settling in Dodge.

(614)

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6 Jul 12

My Exclusive Interview with the Statue of Liberty

I am so Noo Joisey!

Today at Manhattan Infidel it is my distinct pleasure to interview a landmark, an icon and a legend: The Lady in the Harbor herself, the Statue of Liberty.

MI:  Good morning Miss Liberty

SOL:  You got a drink for me?

MI:  Um, no sorry.   Let’s start at the beginning.  What do I call you? Officially you are “Liberty Enlightening the World” or La Liberté éclairant le monde as the French say.

SOL:  Don’t get me started on the French.  I hate ‘dose bastards.

MI: Okay, well as the lady in New York Harbor –

SOL:  Hey, I ain’t no New Yorker.  I’m a Jersey girl all the way!

MI:  Really?

SOL:   I’m going to Jersey Shore, bitch! But back to your question.  Just call me a guidette because I know how to club it up, I take good care of myself, I have pretty hair, tanned skin, I wear the hottest heals and I pretty much know how to own it and rock it baby!

MI:  Okay.  I never suspected that about you. Now about you – you are supposed to represent liberty breaking free.  Is that why there is a broken chain about your feet?

SOL: That ain’t no chain baby.  That’s my garter belt.  It must have fallen off when I was bopping all around doing backward flips with my thong hanging out and my crotch up in the air.

MI:  That’s an undignified image.

SOL:  Yeah I had sex.  Like hello.  You’re gonna have sex if you’re into somebody.  It’s natural.

MI:  I don’t even remember asking about your sex life.

SOL:  You want me don’t you?

MI:  No.

SOL:  I hate guys.  I’m turning lesbian, I swear.

MI:  I –

SOL:  My boobs are so tight I can’t breathe.  Is that  normal?

MI:  I wouldn’t know.

SOL:  I’m not trashy unless I drink too much.  Which is pretty much all the time. I know how to party. And I’m going to Jersey Shore bitch!

MI:  You already mentioned that.  Now – 

SOL:  It hurts my vagina.

MI:  What?

SOL:  Wanna fuck?  My tits defy gravity.  Albert Einstein should come back and rewrite his laws of physics around my tits.

MI:  Please.  I ask you to take this interview seriously.  Many of my readers want to know – 

SOL:  Do you know what gay guys do?  They’re not attracted to vagina.  They’re attracted to asshole.

MI:  I  –

SOL:  I will fucking attack you like a squirrel monkey!

MI:  What the hell are you talking about?

SOL:  I will pee in a bush.  I will poop in a bush and I will hide in a bush.  I do fucked up shit.  I don’t even know what’s wrong with me.

MI:  I don’t think there’s much point to continuing this interview.

SOL:  Every time I get real excited like if we go to a club I have to poop.  If we go to a party I have to poop.  If I go on a date I have to poop.

MI:  I’ll just let myself out.

SOL:  Even though I just met you, you seem like the perfect juicehead gorilla for me.  And I kinda want to have sex with you already.

MI:  I am so not turned on by you.  It was nice meeting you.

SOL:  I have to poop!  And I want to have sex!

Readers, it often happens that when I interview somebody they are much different than I had anticipated.  Such is the case with Lady Liberty.

MI:  Oh come on!  Will you stop pooping in my bushes!

SOL:  I’m excited.  And I want sex!

Readers, for your own good stay away from the Statue of Liberty.  She’s a skank.

(418)

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5 Jul 12

Americans Applaud End of Freedom!

We the people choose not to be free!By an overwhelming vote that crossed partisan lines, congress today voted to end all freedom of choice for all Americans for everything.

“It is time we realize that freedom is not absolute” declared Senate Majority leader Harry Reid (D-NV).  “People are using their freedoms to make wrong choices.  The wrong foods to eat.  The wrong recreational drugs to use.  The wrong sexual positions to enjoy.  These decisions are too important to be left to the people.  This is where the government steps in.”

“There is an epidemic in America today” declared Nancy Pelosi (D-CA).  “It is an epidemic of unhealthy wellness choices.”

“We have to force people to do what’s best for them.  The constitution gives us this right.” declared John Boehner (R-OH).

The “Health and Wellness” bill passed both houses of congress with only one dissenting vote belonging to the possibly senile Ron Paul who pathetically challenged the government’s right to regulate personal choices.

“Who is this Ron Paul character to go against the wisdom of the ages” said a disgusted Reid. “I can’t even think of Paul without vomiting.”

Under the provisions of the bill a 3000 percent tax will be placed on the following items:

  • Soda
  • Meat
  • Eggs
  • Alcohol
  • Cigars and cigarettes

“We could have just banned the items but what’s the profit in that.  So we decided a tax would be better.  A tax would only be fair and it’ll help fund our government” said Reid.

In addition to its negative aspects (taxes to thwart consumption) the bill has many positive aspects as well.

“We intend to transform the habits of all Americans” said President Obama.

Some of the positive provisions?

  • Those who live within five miles of where they work will have to walk to their office.
  • Those who live five to 15  miles from their office will have to jog.
  • Those who live 15 to 25 miles from their office will have to take public transportation (including high-speed rail.)
  • Those who live over 25 miles from their office will have to move or get another job closer to their home.
  • Instead of lunch all workers will be given an hour to jog or do calisthenics.  Those who prefer not to can tithe a part of their salary to a wellness center.

Despite, or perhaps because of the extreme provisions of the document it has the support of the majority of Americans.

“It is true” was a typical response from an American when asked about the bill.  “I make unhealthy choices every day.  I’m glad the government is stepping in to tell us what to do.  Isn’t that their job?”

The bill will take effect in September.

(380)

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4 Jul 12

Happy Fourth of July From Captain James T. Kirk

 The words were meant for everybody or they mean nothing at all!

Happy Fourth of July America.  Today we celebrate the birthday of a great experiment in liberty and self-government.  So how are we doing?  Have we succeeded?  Let Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise school us.  (And yes I know this clip mentions the Constitution not the Declaration of Independence but if I could find a clip of Kirk with the Declaration I would have posted it.)

Captain Kirk and Freedom

Leave it to a Canadian to remind us of the blessings of liberty.

(405)

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