Failed man and professional dress wearer, Jaden Smith, so-called “son” of Will Smith, has been named the face of the new Louis Vuitton’s women’s clothes campaign.

“It’s true” said Vuitton’s creative director.

Jaden is the new face of our clothing line. I salute Jaden’s courage in dressing as a woman and I believe that his manly frame and manly bulge express best what it means to be a woman in 2016.

Jaden himself was pleased to become the new face of women’s clothing.

“I dress to show how I feel inside” he/she said.

I like wearing super drapey things so I can feel as though I’m a superhero but don’t have to necessarily wear super hero costumes every day. This is normal in Hollywood. Clothing knows no gender. I’ve tried wearing men’s clothing but when I did I felt like I had to be a man and actually accomplish something. This felt like a societal microagression against me. When I wear woman’s clothing I can feel soft and pretty. People look at me. I feel powerful and I don’t even have to do anything!

When asked why a woman was not chosen to be the face of womenswear, a spokesman for Vuitton scoffed at the question.

“This displays your gender ignorance” he said.

Jaden Smith is a failed man, which makes him almost a woman. Not quite but a failed man is still worth more than a woman. Look at Caitlyn. Many objected when Glamour magazine named him the woman of the year. But the point was made. Women have had their chance to be women. They have failed. It is now up to the transgendered community, chick with dicks is the colloquial phrase, to show women what being a woman really means. I have no idea if Jaden is taken female hormones but that is besides the point.  He is down with the struggle to become a woman. What do women know about being a woman that Jaden doesn’t?

As for what is next for him Jaden responded that he hasn’t thought that far ahead but hopes one day to have a period.

I want to feel what women feel. And my wanting to feel what they feel will make me feel more like them. Every day I ask God to make me bleed. I know I will bleed one day. And when that day comes the walls of gender biology and ignorance that separate men from the non-men will finally come tumbling down and will will live in a gender free paradise.

Gender fluid activists have hailed Vuitton’s choice of Jaden.

“I want to be a woman but retain my penis” said one. “Jaden’s actions complete me.”

Many school districts across the U.S. are sponsoring “gender fluid” days in support of Vuitton.

“We encourage our boys to dress as girls as often as possible” said a principal.

While those who are anti-science say that crossdressing does not make them girls, we feel it is the first step towards getting boys to unlearn their testosterone. It’s science.

Still not everyone supports Vuitton’s decision.

“I wanted to be the face of womenswear” said America’s most famous transgender, Caitlyn Jenner.

“Jaden is a punk who hasn’t earned the honor like I have! What does he know about being a woman?”

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