The Vatican supports the differentially-abled. My security guards will now show you out

 

In perhaps the greatest example of Christian forbearance and humility, Pope Francis, leader of the world’s Roman Catholics, met today with an idiot.

The idiot from the United States arrived at the Vatican accompanied by fifty vehicles and heavily-armed security guards for his private meeting.

“America is a great country” said Francis.

What other country would treat an idiot like this?  They give him an escort with not one, not two, but fifty vehicles.  Truly America is a Christian nation.

Escorted to meet the Pope, the idiot from America babbled on incoherently about “shared values and a commitment to social justice.”

As Pope Francis shuffled his feet in embarrassment and coughed nervously the idiot presented the Pope with a box of seeds.

“These are seeds from all over America” said the drooling, slack-jawed, floppy-eared idiot.

I like to think they represent the seeds of our shared value of abortion on demand. Take these seeds and put them in your garden. And maybe one day you will see the error of your medieval ways and institute gender equality in the Vatican.

The Pope smiled at the idiot and thanked him for the seeds.

“At least it’s not a damn iPod”  he said.

The idiot, seemingly happy with himself for telling the Pope to institute gender equality, was escorted back to the waiting vehicles.  As they drove off the idiot waved at the Pope and shouted, “I can’t wait to tell Joe Biden I met you!”

“Who the hell is Joe Biden” the Pope asked his Secretary of State, Cardinal Pietro Parolin.

“I believe he’s another American idiot”  responded the Cardinal.

Upon hearing this the Pope exclaimed, “Another American idiot?” and made the Sign of the Cross.

After the American idiot was driven away Cardinal Parolin issued a statement about the meeting.

Pope Francis meets with many people.  Princes.  Prime Ministers.  He will never turn anyone away.  Even this idiot from America.  The Pope thanks the idiot for the gift of the seeds but unfortunately because of the Pope’s responsibilities and busy schedule he will not have a chance to plant them.

The meeting between the Pope and the idiot was heavily covered by the American press who hailed it as “another example of this Pope’s willingness to change Catholic doctrine.”

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