The Gospel of Barack Obama According to Chris Matthews (Part X)

And Barack shineth in the darkness

And Barack shineth in the darkness

Amen, amen I say to you:  He that entereth not by the door of government redistribution into the sheepfold, but climbeth up the way of self-reliance, the same is a thief and a robber.

But he that entereth in by the door of the Democratic party is the shepherd of the sheep of minorities.

To him the minority sheep hear his voice: and he calleth his own sheep “Hispanic” and leadeth them out.

And when he hath let out his own sheep, he goeth before them:  and the Hispanic sheep follow him, because they come from socialist states in Central and South America and they know the voice of government strongmen.

But a Republican they follow not, but fly from him, because MSNBC says Republicans are racist.

This proverb Barack spoke to them.  But they understood not for they were too busy admiring the God made man Barack.

Barack therefore said to them again:  Amen, Amen I say to you, I am the door for the sheep. Republicans are thieves and robbers: and the sheep heard them not.

I am the door.  By me, if any man or woman or transgendered enter in, he shall be saved by government handouts.

The Republican cometh not, but for to trim government spending.  I am come that I may redistrbute, and that you may have redistributed goods more abundantly.

I am the good socialist.  The good socialist giveth other peoples’ money for his Hispanic sheep.  

I am the good socialist; and I know who votes for me, and mine know me. But whomever doesn’t vote for me, we will we punish as they are our enemies.

Other sheep I have, that are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall love free stuff from the government, and there shall be one fold and one party.

Therefore doth America love me: because I lay down rich peoples’ money, that I may take it again.  No man taketh it away from me:  But I take it away from them, and I have the power to do this.  This commandment I have received from John Roberts and the Supreme Court.

And Barack walked in the White House.  The Republicans came round to him and said to him: If thou intent to take us further into debt, tell us plainly.

Barack answered them:  I speak to you, and you believe not: the debt that I do in the name of redistribution and universal health care, they give testimony of me.  But you do not believe, because you are racists.

My Hispanic sheep hear my voice: and I know they vote for me, and they follow me.  And I give them government handouts everlasting. 

The Republicans took up stones (for guns having been banned) to stone him.  Barack answered them:  Many works of redistribution I have showed you; for which of these works do you stone me?

The Republicans answered him:  For redistribution we stone thee not (for we believe in it too), but because we are not in power to redistribute and be compassionate conservatives.

And Barack went again beyond the Potomac. And many resorted to him, and they said: Republicans give us nothing. But all free stuff Barack said he would give us he has.

And many believed in him.

(To be continued)


One Response

  1. The few must work hard to pay for the many.

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