The Gospel of Barack Obama According to Chris Matthews (Part IX)

And Barack shineth in the darkness

And Barack shineth in the darkness

And Barack, passing by, saw a man who was blind from his birth.  And his disciples in the MSM asked him:  Constitutional scholar, who hath sinned, this man, or his parents, that he should be born blind?

Barack answered: This man hath not sinned, unless he voted Republican; but that the works of the Federal Government should be made manifest in him.  For now he can get health insurance through the exchanges.

When he had eloquently said these things, he spat on the ground, and made clay of the spittle, and spread the clay on his eyes.  And said to him:  Go, use this clay to log onto the health care website.  He went therefore, and tried to log in with the spittle but was unable to, and came back yet still blind.

And his progressive neighbors therefore, who had seen that he had talked to Barack and was yet still blind said therefore to him:  You’re still blind?  Why?  Do you hate black people?

He answered:  That man that is called Barack made clay, and anointed my eyes and said to me: Go, use the clay to create an account on the Affordable Care website.  And I went and was unable to log in with the spittle, and I am still blind.

They bring him that was still blind to Harry Reid.  Again therefore Reid asked him, how was he still blind.  Was he faking it to embarrass Barack and damage the Affordable Care Act? 

They say therefore to the still blind man again:  What sayest thou of him who gave you spittle to open your eyes?  

And he said:  A charlatan.  For I still not see.

Harry Reid called his parents and said:  Is this your son, who you say was born blind?  Barack touched him. How then is he still blind?  Did you teach him to hate black people?

His parents answered Reid and said:  We know that this is our son, and that he was born blind. We did not teach him to hate black people.  So we do not know why  he does.  Perhaps he learned it from watching FOX News.

Reid therefore called the man again that had been and was still blind, and said to him:  Give glory to Barack.  He gave you spittle.  

He answered Reid:  I have told you already, and you have heard.:  Why would you hear it again?  The spittle would not let me log onto the healthcare exchange website.

Harry Reid reviled him therefore, and said:  You should be able to see.  You are making your story up.

Barack heard that Reid had cast him out: and when he found him, he said to him:  Do you believe in the Constitution?

He answered, and said:  Yes I believe in the Constitution.  

And Barack said to him:  I am the Constitution that talketh to thee.  Now use your spittle to log into the healthcare exchange website.  

And he said:  Lord Barack, give me more spittle.

And Barack saith:  At some point you have to ask yourself whether you have too much spittle. 

And the man went away still blind.

(To be continued)


3 Responses

  1. And according the Rasmussen’s average of polls there are still 43% of Americans who are still blind.

  2. bob agard says:

    Maybe Barack should try something besides spittle.

  3. petermc3 says:

    A good old fashioned phlegm hocker laced with acid reflux phlagellum will surely make the blind see the path to Obamacare.

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