Mick Jagger’s Girlfriend Commits Suicide After Realizing She is Mick Jagger’s Girlfriend!


Designer L’Wren Scott, companion of Rolling Stones singer Mick Jagger was found dead in her New York City apartment.  Scott’s assistant found the designer hanging from a door knob with a scarf, a stylish and witty scarf, around her neck.

On a stylishly placed coffee table was a suicide note that said in part:

Oh god for ten years I have been waking up next to it.  Please forgive me for what I’ve done.  I ask my friends to forgive me.  I ask my enemies to forgive me. I ask David Bowie to forgive me.  I ask God to forgive me.

Scott’s friends told police that lately she had been depressed about her relationship.

“She thought Mick was hiding something from her” said an acquaintance.

Jagger would spend three hours in the bathroom every morning just to make himself presentable.  She thought this was very suspicious.  I went to a party at her place recently and I asked her where Mick was.  She said he was in the bathroom.  Well, after two hours Mick’s face came out, and the rest of him trailed along an hour later. I mean she was only 49!  She could have done better.

Scott was also convinced that Jagger was using her for makeup tips and to brag to his friends that he was having sex with a younger woman.

She got tired of the Viagra shipments to her place.  They embarrassed her.  And who can blame her.  We used to trip over the boxes.  One time a party goer tried to borrow some but Mick started screaming, “This is my Viagra.  There are many others like it, but this one is mine.  My Viagra is my best friend. It is my life.  I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my Viagra is useless. Without my Viagra, I am useless.”  Well, I don’t have to tell you I found that a little odd.  We used to hear noises from the bedroom.  It was Mick screaming, “If you start me up I’ll never stop.  You make a grown man cry!”

Sources also say that that end came for L’Wren Scott after an embarrassing incident when she thought there was a snake in the bed.

She started screaming, “What’s that! It’s a snake against my leg.  I can feel it.”  Well it turns out it was only Mick’s face, which had slid off during the night.

After seeing what Jagger looks like without makeup,

A rare photo of Mick Jagger without makeup

A rare photo of Mick Jagger without makeup

Scott decided to end her life.

Jagger, now free from the restraints of his makeup, was last seen walking down Fifth avenue asking frightened tourists if they were Sarah Connor.

New York City police chief William Bratton has asked for calm and for people to stay off the streets.

“Jagger’s going to need clothes, boots and a motorcycle.  And when he tries to get them we’ll be ready for him.”


2 Responses

  1. She hung herself from a door knob? What was she, a leprechaun?

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