Keith Richards Writes Children’s Book!

I do not like green eggs and heroin.

I do not like green eggs and heroin.

Keith Richards, legendary guitarist for the Rolling Stones, has announced that he is writing a children’s book.

“It’s true” said Mr. Richards on his website.

I have just become a grandfather for the fifth time, so I know what I’m talking about. The bond, the special bond, between kids and grandparents is unique and should be treasured. I hope one day to have grandchildren.  What?  Five of them?  Are you sure?  How did this happen?  I don’t even remember having kids.

We here at the worldwide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel have obtained an advance copy of the novel entitled, “Green Eggs and Heroin” and we are pleased to present a few portions for our readers.

And on a personal note I found this novel to be amusing and heartwarming.  I particularly liked the part where he has the protagonist murder and dismember a customs official in the Barbados who lost Keith’s stash.

Do you like green eggs and heroin?

I do not like them said my prissy lead singer, Mick.  I do not like green eggs and heroin.

Well tough because I have my stash here.  Would you like them here or there?

I would not like them said the pain in the ass lead singer

I would not like them anywhere

I do not like green eggs and heroin.

I do not like them repeated the overrated lead singer named Mick-I-am.

Would you like them in a house?  Or with a mouse?  Or in a car speeding away from customs officials?

I do not like them in a house.  I do not like them with a mouse (though ratatouille might suffice)

I do not like them anyway said my drug-free lover of David Bowie lead singer.

Would you eat heroin in a box like a prison?  Because that’s where we’re heading if we don’t lose the customs officials.

Could you, would you eat green eggs and heroin with a goat?

I would not said the jackass lead singer, for I am a vegan.

If you let me be said the lead singer with the freakishly large lips

I will try them.  You will see.

Say!  I like green eggs and ham said the lead singer.

I do!  I do like them.  Now lets kill that customs official before he can call the police.

As you can see from this snippet the book is a fascinating tale of persistence.  The green eggs and heroin obviously represent rock and roll.  Keith is trying to convince his lead singer to kick out the jams  As for the customs official, I’m not sure but I think he represents Brian Jones. And the book as a whole represents Keith trying to impart the wisdom of an older generation to a younger one.

The entire book will be available on iTunes in June.


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