Crazed Loner Shoots Congresswoman and Kills Five Others; Sara Palin to Blame

Accused gunman and possible Sara Palin disciple Jared Lee LoughnerIn a tragic event Saturday, a crazed loner opened fire at an event in Arizona, shooting Congresswoman Gabrielle Gifford in the head and killing a Federal judge and five others, including a nine-year old girl.

While the motives of the gunman Jared Lee Loughner have so far not been identified, it appears that he was an angry loner that classmates describe as having a penchant for radical politics.  While authorities have as of yet been unable to find any pictures of Sara Palin at his apartment they continue to look for any evidence that she was involved.

FBI director Robert Mueller cautioned against a rush to judgment saying:

We do not want to implicate the wrong people.  But as of this moment, seeing as he is a white male and lives in a red state, profiling suggests that he was a right wing religious fanatic.  Possibly a tea bagger.  Most likely heavily influenced by Sara Palin.  He probably is sexually frustrated by his unconsummated lust for the former Alaskan governor.  I mean, her pouty lips, firm breasts, pleasing figure, MILF hotness – the poor boy  probably just snapped.  What?  I’m not talking about myself!

On MSNBC, analyst Keith Olbermann devoted his entire show to the tragedy of intolerance.

Who is Jared Lee Loughner?  We don’t know.  No information is available yet.  But we can be sure of his motives:  He was an intolerant, racist, teabagging, religious fanatic who wanted to kill those who look different than he does.  It’s always the white man.  Always!  Look at the list of  mass murderers down through the ages:  Ghengis Khan, Pol Pot, Alex Trebek.  They were all white men of northern European origin. And who did he get his marching orders from? Alaskan troglodyte Sara Palin!  Sara Palin – you are the worst person in the world!  This person, Loughner is a church-going fanatic.  And we know that if you are religious you are probably a repressed homosexual who cruises late at night for Brazilian boy toys, taking them to cheap hotels and castrating them, leaving your victims lying in a pool of blood. What?  I wasn’t talking about myself.

Despite the fact that Congresswoman Gifford was an avid supporter of the Second Amendment, President Obama held a press conference expressing sorrow over the shooting and promising to restrict gun ownership.

I’d like to express my sympathies to the congresswoman’s family.  I want to stress that while we should not rush to judgment we have to ask ourselves whether the charged and polarizing language used by those on the right may have contributed to this tragedy.  I ask former Alaskan Governor and Fox news contributor Sara Palin to have her followers refrain from violence.  I also vow to bring before Congress legislation restricting gun ownership to those who pass a Government-approved ideology test.  This test will be created and administered by the White House.

President Obama then told reporters that a further, more expansive statement on why the Constitution gives him the authority to do this will be forthcoming, “as soon as I get back from the golf course.”

Hollywood has already begun lensing a movie about the tragedy called “The Attempted Assassination of Gabrielle Gifford by the Coward Jared Lee Loughner who was Acting under Orders from Sara Palin.”



10 Responses

  1. Karen Howes says:

    This guy seems to have been neither left nor right; he was simply a loon. One with a history of disturbing and bizarre behavior.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    KH: Ah, but you know that won’t stop the Left from blaming those on the “hate filled” right.

  3. The Jungers says:

    Just try taking my guns Obama. You think Afghanistan sucks? Try dealing with a full out revolution inside your own country.

  4. innominatus says:

    I can’t come to your site anymore because smart people like Paul Krugman say it might make me violent.

  5. “The Attempted Assassination of Gabrielle Gifford by the Coward Jared Lee Loughner who was Acting under Orders from Sara Palin.”

    Best. Movie Title. EVER.

  6. Manhattan Infidel says:

    TJ: You darest oppose The Obama? Expect a visit from the thought police.

    Inn: Well, Paul is much much smarter than us. You better do what he says.

    CRS: I can’t wait to see the movie!

  7. The Jungers says:

    Ah i already dealt with the A.C.M (anti-conservative movement) branch of the FBI. They landed in the same place I put all those dead hookers. The thought police don’t carry weapons out of protest against the NRA

  8. Matt says:

    I’m all over the place with this one.

    1. Re: Trabek: I KNEW it!!!
    2. Let’s beat the hell out of Innominatus for leaving…DAMN! Krugman was right!
    3. Sorry, gotta go, Sarah just told me to punch a union thug in the nose.

  9. MK says:

    It didn’t take them long to start persecuting us and smearing all Conservatives and peaceful Christians over this did it.

  10. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Matt: Trebek – I thought everyone knew he was a mass murderer? Inn – yup….time to beat him up.

    MK: Nope. It didn’t take them long. They have no shame.

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