NFL Poetry Slam!

Brett Favre cries for the junk of humanityThe Manhattan Infidel blog is more than just a site people can browse between downloading videos of Asian lesbians. While I don’t want to discount the important role that Asian lesbian Google searches play for my readers my blog is also a site that hopes to raise the intellectual and spiritual values of visitors.  And what invigorates the soul more than athletic activity combined with intellectual curiosity?

And so, in keeping with my mission statement I’d like to let readers know about the first annual “Football Poetry Slam” that was held recently in a nightclub here in Manhattan.

Retired NFL quarterback Brett Favre and New York Jet Head Coach Rex Ryan (pictured here) Hi.  I’m Rex Ryan and you have lovely feet.  May I touch them? read from their latest works to a packed audience of fans, poetry lovers, critics, sexual harassment lawyers and foot fetish aficionados.

First up was Brett Favre, wearing his trademark Vikings jersey and stubble who read a selection of free verse entitled, “I Weep for my Junk.”

Lonely/Big city/Not doing anything/Do you like me?/Let’s get together/This is my junk/Touch me/Touch yourself/Oh God……I’m done.

When Favre finished a photo of Mr. Favre’s “junk”  was displayed on large screen TVs behind him.  Many in the audience wept.  Said one critic:

The poem was an aching reminder of the loneliness of modern society.  A reminder of man’s inhumanity to man.  I wept.  I wept for myself.  I wept for my junk.  I wept for all humanity. I wept for the junk of all humanity.

Next up was Jet Head Coach Rex Ryan, who in his basso profundo voice read a piece entitled, “To Walk Upright.

Feet!/Feet!/Let me touch your feet!/Let me caress your feet!/Lovely lovely lovely feet!/Oh God….I’m done.

When Ryan finished the audience stood and applauded as a show of respect.  According to one critic:

The poem was a masterful display of Darwin’s theory of Evolution in free verse.  It showed the struggle of humanity to stand upright and look at the Heavens.  It was almost biblical.  It reminded me of when Jesus had his feet cleansed by the tears of a woman of ill repute. 

The show ended with Favre and Ryan onstage together, facing each other and reciting their works.

Favre:  Junk.

Ryan:  Feet!

Favre:  Touch my –

Ryan:  Feet!!

Favre:  Lonely.  This is a photo of my –

Ryan:  Pretty.  Pretty feet!!!

The crowd responded by screaming and trying to rush the stage.  Said one person in attendance, “It was like Beatlemania only more like Junk-Feet mania.”

Favre and Ryan are hoping to take their act on the road.  According to Favre, “There are many States that have yet to see my junk. I want them all to see it. I’m just a giving person.” 

Ryan is also looking forward to the opportunity to tour.  “I especially would like to visit Arkansas.  I hear they have the prettiest feet in the Union.”


4 Responses

  1. Karen Howes says:

    Arkansas would love these guys.

  2. The Jungers says:

    I appreciate your acknowledgment of the importance of Asian lesbian videos. I mean have you seen those ninja lesbians? One second there there then they vanish only to reappear in orgasmic positions, Oh god…. I’m done

  3. KingShamus says:

    MI, nice job here. In fact, I think this should be a annual event.

    Next year’s stars? Michael Vick and Plaxico Burress, with a special opening act by Pac-Man Jones.

    Oh god…I’m done.

  4. Manhattan Infidel says:

    KH: Arkansas is the state of Bill Clinton after all.

    TJ: Yes..yes….

    KS: I like your idea. I think I’ll….oh god. I’m done.

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