Controversial Racist Juan Williams Fired by NPR After Making Controversial Racist Comments During Appearance on Controversial Racist Bill O'Reilly's Show on Controversial Racist Fox Network

Controversial racist Juan WilliamsJuan Williams, a known controversial racist was fired by NPR today because of the outrage over his controversial racially-charged comments on Fox News.

Williams’ downfall began when appearing on the O’Reilly factor he explained that his favorite variety of Pop-Tarts are the Vanilla Milkshake flavor and that he finds the Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough flavor “objectionable” and “poor-tasting.”  Said Williams:

Look Bill, I have taste buds as liberal as the next person but when I’m on an airplane and they only brand of Pop-Tarts they have is the Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough flavor I get nervous.  Many Americans do.

The reaction to Williams’ comments was swift.  Within hours NPR had announced that they had terminated his contract with the network.

NPR CEO Vivian Shiller released a statement that said, “our reporters, our hosts and our news analysts should not be injecting their own views about Pop-Tarts but instead should impartially report Pop-Tart news.  And if you disagree with me you’re racist.”

Shiller said that under normal circumstances she believes in liberty of conscience in Pop-Tart matters, but that Williams preference for Vanilla Milkshake Pop-Tarts reveals “the darkness hidden in his soul – namely his deep-seated hatred of the black man.”

Shiller finished her comments by stating that Williams should have kept his feelings about Pop-Tarts between “himself and his psychiatrist or publicist.” 

She said that she was surprised it took Williams so long to be outed as a racist.  

“I mean, what kind of name is ‘Juan’ anyway?  It sounds Cuban.  Cubans vote Republican and that is Prima Facie evidence of racism.”

NPR also stated that is is “Proud of its long history of eating Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Pop-Tarts and only Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Pop-Tarts” at the beginning of every board meeting.

“What better way of showing our solidarity with the oppressed people of color than by eating something brown?”

In lieu of the publicity surrounding Williams’ firing, NPR has announced a new ten-part special investigative series entitled “Racism in America:  Pop-Tart Segregation” hosted by Whoopi Goldberg.

Williams for his part said, “I’m just glad I didn’t tell them about my aversion to hot pink milk chocolate balls.  Pink milk chocolate balls - if you don’t like them you’re a homophobe They might have called me a homophobe as well.”



11 Responses

  1. Mark says:

    If you don’t understand this, you’re a racist!

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Mark: What can I say? Some people have a way with words. Other people no have way. And if you disagree with me you’re racist.

  3. innominatus says:

    You’d think that in this day and age, a black man would be able to enjoy a poptart without Whitey coming down hard on him. Just goes to show that we have a long way to go in healing race relations.

    And I lay blame squarely at the feet of our so-called “post-racial” prezdint.

  4. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Inn: They can take our freedom, but not our Pop-Tarts!

  5. Matt says:

    I dunno, Infidel. Pop-Tarts might be next on Bloomberg’s list of good things to ban! You should immediately start hoarding them.

    Now, had Williams simply said that Tea was the drink of rednecks and homophobes, he would have been just fine.

  6. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Matt: I have been stockpiling Pop-Tarts for such an emergency.

    Mayor Bloomberg you’re on notice: You can take away our right to smoke in public and have salt in our food, but touch our Pop-Tarts and there will be a revolution.

  7. Manhattan Infidel says:

    P.S. – the Yankees are three outs from the end of the season for them. Oh well. There’s always next year.

  8. Karen Howes says:

    You forgot to say that he’s controversial.

  9. Manhattan Infidel says:

    KH: Well, I didn’t want to say anything controversial.

  10. MK says:

    Controversial racist ey, these days every conservative is a racist. A placard carried by a Tea Party activist always springs to mind, it said – whatever it says on the board you’ll call me racist.

    I would have added a – so @#$% you too, you racist nazi piece of sh!t – to it and be done with it. 🙂

  11. Manhattan Infidel says:

    MK: I remember seeing that placard on the news. And I would have added your comment too.

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